You are a
Social Liberal
(80% permissive)
and an...
Economic Liberal
(11% permissive)
You are best described as Socialist
Link: The Politics Test
Ripped From The Headlines!
In my dream last night I was Gene Hackman. Also, I was the President. Evidently I had been screwing up my Presidency, and there was a big press conference planned so I could go out there and blame it on some one else. Of course, since I was Gene Hackman, I was torn between saving my hide, or fessing up. My advisors had all planned out how I was going to weasel out, but I, Gene Hackman, had an epiphany that I would DoTheRightThing, and admit my problems. I would also ask the American People to not forget what I had done, and that I had a lot of work to do to gain back their trust. They should not let me off easy, and it was up to me, and me alone, to prove my worth to them again. Hopefully I would be able to. Then I decided I needed better, honest, clothes to make my speech in. So I went down to the Target that is in the East wing of the White House to buy some clothes. This makes sense, because if there are stores inside the White House, then The US can save money on fewer secret service agents. The target seemed closed, because only the emergency lights were on, and there were no employees. But I was able to find a cool pair of Carhart jeans, a sensible golf shirt and a nice blazer. I, Gene Hackman, looked rugged and sympathetic at the same time. The purchases were made with cash, left n top of the unmanned register. While sleeping, the way I could tell this was a dream, is that Target does not carry Carharts.
The COA
Since I am an insufferable twat, and only do this for my own sick sense of self worth, there's a new rule. I won't post shit that's anywhere half funny until each boring post, posts such as this very one, gets three comments. I save my decent shit for the people who pay attention.
The old man shuffle
Do you ever wonder what kind of old person you'll be? I am obviously well travelled down the path to Old Coot. That guy that wear overalls and a work shirt in the middle of summer. Doing things like throwing rocks at squirels, cutting down my neighbors trees because they are infested with birds, and making up worthless home improvement projects like painting the driveway. Do you know who you will be when you're 80? -Cat lady. The kind that smells like pee, and saves all your trash by methodically pulling it apart and stuffing it piece by piece into old Grape Sunkist bottles. -fat couple. Still together after all these years, with wrap around sunglasses on your regular sunglasses, and the lady with matching tracksuit and the guy with sansabelt slacks and an off brand izod ripoff golf shirt. Visor sayin' "myrtle beach 98". -Incoherent bedshitter at a nursing home. Laughing at soap operas, and smoothing out your covers because your son will "be here any minute". -One of those totally cool grannies that's into yoga and looks like she's 60. All wearing a bun and making vegan cookies. -dead at 65, because you were a horrible drunk that spent 25 years telling one joke. the joke that begins and end with you saying "HOT ENOUGH FOR YA!" and then slapping the jokee on the back. And asking if they "like girls". The world is our oyster, and I'm pretty sure we're all the type of people who would squandor it.
what about Bill?
Today is Bill Murray's birthday Yo.  When you read this, post your favorite Bill Movie, and favorite Bill line.
This is where the humorous write up would go about sectionals. Guess what, I don't have it in me. Maybe later.
buttons's's's http://www.robpongi.com/pages/comboGKIDS01.html http://robpongi.com/pages/comboMOKINHI.html
http://msn.foxsports.com/nhl/story/4874450 NHL 94 at Bevis Baptist Church In college I lived with 4 other guys, and we shared one copy NHL 94. We would each save our individual head to head games, so we could keep track of who had the best record in the house. Right as we would get to about 100 wins each, the cartridge would crash, and we'd start over. I think we started over about 5 times, so that's about 750 games we played. Every guy in the house had their own team they always used, and one way of scoring. BK from Pittsburgh, always played the Pens. He would take 5 minutes before every game to set his lines to the exact line shifts they were using that week. The main strategy was to just take Lemieux into the boards, then take your thumb off the joystick, push b then c, and it was pretty much an automatic one timer goal from jager/coffey/stevens? He could only score with his #1 line. Tre from Cinti, always played Kings. He would dipsy do with Gretsky, and pretty much only use the Brook. Circle around the back of the goal, then cross in front on the backhand and if you didn't control the goalie, it was a score. Doody from Chicago, always played the Hawks. His strategy was check of the face off, instead of pass. If he made Gretsky or Lemieux's head bleed before the 2nd period, he'd win. If Roenick got penalized, he was done. His goal scoring method was to get Roenick or Chelios the puck and get them right near the right hand face off dot, turn their back to the goal and fire a slapshot. Roenick was the only player who could do this and make it work. It was pretty easy to defend if your players weren't tired. He never used his checking line. He never ever ever took control of Belfour, absolutely refused to. Chief Little Big Head from Cleveland, never really settled on a team. He went through the Flyers, Stars and Bruins, never making up his mind until he played the Nordiques. He knew he was going to lose, so he just went out in a blaze of frenchiness. His strategy was to shoot a wrister to the goalie, then check him. NHL 94 had that glitch where you could knock the entire goalie over the line and it would count as a goal. He was better hockey player than me in real life. I could take him now though. Me from Cinti, always played The Couv. This team was pretty simple. 5 guys with speed in the high 90s. All I did was break aways. Come down the ice with your body centered on the post, not the goalie, and then right before you got to the goalie, deke backhand, then shoot a wrister. The Couv were great because even if you made Bure's head bleed, you still had Cliff Roening on the second line. And Trevor Linden took faceoffs, so Roenick never got a chance to goon him. Best video game ever. Not just sports game. (I actually put it tied with tecmo, I just don't have time to right about those strategies.) Bevis Baptist Church was a sign me and my roommates stole and then put on out house when we were coming back from a Cincinnati Cylcones vs. Cleveland Lumberjacks game.
Oregon Mixed Sectionals My theory was to try and set up the brackets for this Saturday to maximize the potential of no one going to Regionals. Somehow there will be an 8 way tie for last, and everyone will be embarrassed at our dilemma and so we'll just send Dirty Thirty to Regionals. --------------------------------------------------- My predictions on The Weather: As Chuck D said, "it's hot in the day, cold in the night" --------------------------------------------------- Now, for the game predictions you've all been waiting for: Shiv's white jersey team will beat Nora's blue jersey team 4-2 in wiffleball. --------------------------------------------------- This weekend will be the ultimate scientific test of who was responsible for Scuber's failures at previous Sectionals. The variables have been reduced, and after Sunday, blame can, and will be placed. In the past two Sectionals, when we were seeded high and failed to perform, the common thread was Dougie, Dan, Luke and me. (Jen and Su-Wen are excempt, because they are awesome) So this weekend we will see who delivers the bad mojo, and ruins things. -Dougie now on Psychic. -Dan now on Good Times -Luke now on Lit Junior -Me, not playing as the control group. Who will drag his new team to failure? --------------------------------------------------- The party will be won by me. Mainly because I didn't tell anyone where it was. I charged every team an arm and a leg for this tourney, and don't plan on using even 1/5 of the money, the overage all goes in my pocket. And my pocket is an express way to the liquor store. So drinking at undisclosed location on Saturday, be there if you're me. --------------------------------------------------- Other predictions, I will be extrememly bored. Ultimate is a stupid game to watch. It is only fun to play. That makes it the exact oppositee of football. I will be late to the captain's meeting because I still don't have a ride. I'll probably have dinner at American Dream Pizza. But they won't put my drawing on the wall. There will be something catastrophic that I didn't plan for. Perhaps the fields will already be in use. Perhaps I will have forgoten to brakcet for an entire team. Stay tuned.
I want to do my part for all the people down there, so here's Christopher Walken.  http://www.walken2008.com./
http://www.mybarbarian.com/mb-web/video/unicorns_hi.mov I kept looking for Shiv and Bartolloti in this video.
So last night I drive up to NE for a party. As I enter the house, I am confronted by 5 known nargotic users. The woman who I am there to see, jumps up elated, rushes to me with a big smile. She is whistling through her missing tooth and insists that I will not be allowed in unless I let her pick me up. I do. It is surreal. I make myself more comfortable by trying to make a girl playing the piano cry. Then I blame my offstage heckling on the one guy I don't know. Footnote: When is Scotty leaving? I saw him twice this weekend, way too many times for a guy who left town.
So I go to this swanky architecture presentation. It's put on by some folks yipyappin' on how wicked theys riverfront condos are. And fair dinkum, the condos are wicked. I utilize the free food and drink to the best of my abilities and end up happy. At the end of the night, I kindly get a ride to the closest bus stop, and wait. The bus is fairly full, so I head to the back, and stop right next to a seated ruffian. Plugs in his ears, covered in tattoos, skinny as all gitout, and a wild look in his eyes. It is Bones. I haven't seen Bones since I left for Chicago, 4 years ago. He used to make the burritos at my favorite bar, The Comet. http://www.cometbar.com/ He recognizes me too, but has no idea what my name is, because our relationship consisted entirely of me giving him tips for burritos, rides home, and someone to talk about punk rock with if he wasn't working. Bones is from Louisiana, so he tells me that his family is safe now, and the family home is intact, evidentally they are from the burbs right next to that ruined bridge that kept showing up on the news. His good news is tempered with the fact that his scooter broke down and "today has been one big fuck up." I love running into folks from my past.
 "Give me a little time to think, while I mix me another motherfucking drink." - RL Burnside
I've gotten some questions lately: Here are the answers. Person Number one, If you're just getting into the Ramones and the Buzzcocks, obviously your next choice is The Jam. There is nothing better. Please to be listening at This Is The Modern World, Setting Sons, The Gift, In The City, and then All Mod Cons. In that order. And then be happy with all that is good in the world, The Weller. Screw Gang of Four, all this retro shit is really trying to be The Jam. Person Number two, yes you can have a ride, I'll pick you up at 6:00. Person Number three, if you're looking for good graphic novel collections, check out Kane:Rabbit Hunt, Squadron Supreme, Marvels, Authority first series, and every X-force and X-statix book with Millred. Don't accidentally get any X-Force with Liefeld. Person Number four, I have been mostly listening to Kinski, Oneida, The Fitness, Gogol Bordello, The Epoxies,and Sufjan Stevens. Person Number five, 20 minutes at 375 degrees. Person Number six, when in doubt, shoot Ma, he's the most dangerous player at the table even if he's the Renegade.
Last night I went out to see a movie, a movie that was a remake of a beloved movie from my childhood. This was perhaps my favorite movie from back then, rivalled only by the incomporable Pete's Dragon, which featured the amazing special effects of making Andy Rooney look like a human being using computers. Or maybe regular drawing. I'm not sure, I'm not Gerry Lucas over here. So anyway, boy was I dissapointed. If this is what Hollywood considers entertainment nowadays I pray for our children's future. This is the story that I remember:  What I got was a movie full of dirty horrible people, some I suspect may have been decendants of those swarthy tribes that you can read about in the Good Book. All they talked about was dirty dirty private things. They all also said the same thing! It was just a hundred of these dirty people with kinky hair telling the same story. The story goes like this: Some people want a job at the circus, when they get asked what their skills are, they reply with horrible potty mouth, and talk dirty. They use sailor language. Then the interviewer asks what they are called, and they say "The Aristocats." I didn't find their poopoo, caca, heiney, peepee, hooha talk very appropriate for a Disney movie. This will be the last time isee one of these movies, I don't want that guy from The Full Houses to get any more of my money. I think DJ and Kimmie Gibbler would be shocked to hear him talk like that. Don't see this movie. Go see "The Islands of Madagascar" instead. Or "Penguins in March". I just wanted to hear "We are Siamese" but then now that I think about it that was in "The Rescuers".
Last night I went over to this guy I know's house.*1 I don't want to say who in case he reads this somehow so I'll just call him "Nick O". No, that's too obvious who it is... So I went over to "N. O'Neill's" house. We cooked up some burgers and talked about home improvement projects. But here's the catch, the whole time he's talking I'm just looking at him thinking, "Man. I want to pick up this log in the backyard and just smash his face in. When is he ever gonna zip his trap?" Does that ever happen to you? You have to pretend to be friends with someone that everybody else likes a lot just so you don't look like a jerk? It's stupid all the hoops you have to jump through in this world just to look popular and put on this facade of "functioning human being." *1 I like mangled syntax evidently.
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