blogs come in threes

12:00-Went to the grocery store. It turns out they have discounted meat that's just about to go bad on sale during the day. These are the things that most workabout folks never get to learn. I feel like I'm part of the secret club now. I bought a chunk of pig shoulder to celebrate.

1:00-I'm finally going to get that chimney fixed. I have a spot where the mortar spalled off, and water can get down into the inner workings, I'll just put on a quick layer of mortar and seal that off good.

1:01-Holy shit is it hot up there. I'm going to save that job for dusk.

1:10-One of my summer plans is to paint my house's exterior, so first I need to power wash off some of the loose paint.

1:30-Well that doesn't do much. Now I just have a wet house. I'm going to start cooking my pork instead. Chores are over.

live bloggin 2 electric blogaloo

9:00-I want to bake some bread, and drink.
I'll probably go to the store soon and be away from the terminal for a while

9:10-Try to hang a mirror, install a catfeeder and mount the dustbuster. Mount it on the wall that is.
Those are my chores for the day.

9:30-I'm going to be in trouble. The catfeeder hits a snag, and I need my girlfriend's input. I'll finish that when she gets back home tonight. The other two go up fine.

9:35-Watch the new People's Court. Quick tug job to Marilyn Milian.
Did you know that on the original People's Court, Rusty the Bailiff had worked the Manson Family Murders case? True Dat. Look it up.

LIVE BLOGGIN' THE DAY AWAY

I'm going to run with something here. The daily blog of my life as it happens. As far as I know, no one has ever given a straight up blow by blow shot of their life right as it happens, so I'll be the first and pardon the typeos since this is going all the way live.

7:10-Get up.

7:15-I don't have to go to work today because my office is running slow. We are on forced mandatory 4 day work week and we only get paid for those 4 days. It's better than being fired, but it's leading up to being fired, so the good news is that I might have more time to write in the blog. Google ad revenue can keep me afloat if I could just get a couple more thousand hits.

7:20-Cook up some whites only scrambled eggs for my girlfriend who does have work. Not that I'm super fancy, or even super racist, but I used a bunch of yolks last night to start making gelato. And since I'm about to get fired, I need to consume food sparingly. Sort of like the indians and the buffaloes.

8:00-I must be allergic to eggs.

8:15-Girlfriend leaves for work, good thing too because I will soon be living off her.

8:16-Turn on The View, quick tug job to Sherri. Harder than you think beause Joy Behar keeps popping up on the screen.

8:30-I'm bored. Maybe I should go back to bed.

Summer Blockbuster Review Squad

I live in a world where the fancy restaurant I go to has three pictures on the wall of famous people that have been there and one of them is Tom Skerrit, another was a guest star on Night Court and the third person didn’t even sign their headshot. My fancy restaurant has more than one name on the marquis and no one knows the name of the head chef. This is not the kind of world I want to live in.

That’s why it is so refreshing to be able to get out and immerse myself in a world that is so fabulous and fantastical, yet so real and seems almost within my grasp! That’s the main reason I have such a love for Sex and the City. Even though I never saw it on TV, I liked the commercials, and I loved the trailer, so I saw the movie.

I don’t want to ruin the plot with SPOILERS, so I’ll just give my random rolling thought process about the movie.

-I always thought that the one was Katie Holmes. Maybe she is, or maybe she’s not. She’s probably the most bangable one out of them all.
-Regarding SJP I wonder if even she thinks her husband is gay? One time my mom told a young girl that she looked like her, even though my mom probably only knew her from Square Pegs, the actress not the girl that looked like her, and then my mom said “but only in the face”, which is the worst part about her obviously.
-I was surprised that they made the old gay one not old and gay in the movie but only old. Her neck looks like it’s 2 feet long, and either it’s really bad CGI to do that or maybe it’s really good CGI since she’s even grosser looking than that normally. I kind of got lost in the side part where she was sick or something. I started daydreaming about re-filming SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS with this cast, and how ridiculous that would be.
-Kim Cattral should go the way of Dianne Cannon, where she’s all famous and people pretend she’s still hot, but they only do that to be nice since she really isn’t anymore, and they can’t even really remember why she’s famous. I bet they could do a remake of JOHN CARPENTER’S THE THING and instead of special effects they could just recreate the monster by filming a close up of her roast beef curtains.
-Chris North hasn’t been that good on screen since season two of LAW AND ORDER: RAPE PATROL. Is he the gay one from the Julia Roberts movies?


I smell Sequel.

things used to mean things

Time was a thing meant a thing. There were standards and there were protocols. If you said a thing it meant a thing. A symbol wasn't just a picture, it was an idea. When you saw a crying indian, then you knew there was a littering. A man with a spiderweb tattoo on his elbow had shanked a minority in prison. Shoes hanging on an electrical line meant you knew where you could get yourself into a pile of narcotics.

Now a crying indian just lost his place at the waterslide. A spiderweb tattoo is on page 17 in the lower left hand corner of book C in the flash book of every tattoo parlor in town. And a pair of shoes hanging from the sky just means that some fatty got sloppy and got hisself chased down by bullies and let his shoes get tied together and thrown up into the utilities in a procedure that can often take upwards of 7 tries.

It's just a shame that the impact is cheapened by repetition.

I guess I blame the internet.

VH1'S REMEMBER THE 80S

Remember skinny ties? and the McDlt?
Man, we were crazy back then.

Honkies all played basketball like durdurdurdurrrr.
but brothers played hoops all like zuuuuuuzuuuuuuuzuuuuuuuu.

Man that was hype.

At least we can now live the glory days of the NB and A.

What's your pic for the finals?