Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Basketball Diaries

In summary: And1 and ESPN are responsible for destroying the fundamentals of modern basketball and have done more to hurt the abilities of african americans to succeed in our society today than crack, the CIA and Muggsy Bogues combined.

FALSE.

The fundamentals of modern basketball suffer from the same socioeconomic system that produces extreme wealth disparities and a permanent underclass that does not have the same cultural access to societal resources.
What is And1 Basketball? - It is playground basketball.

So, if this style is being adopted by youngsters at a larger scale than previously, what are the factors that influence this. My hypothesis:

This is streetball that has developed out of urban centers, urban centers that have been in decline since the 1970s. This is where much of the social underclass has been located.

Wherewhan do kids learn about team sports? - In schools or community based sports league that tends to come with some type of "expert" coaching/instruction.

Who pays for these programs? - People in the community/taxpayers. In an area that is economically depressed, people cannot pay for luxuries like organized sports. There has been a lack of community programs and these athletic programs (along with music programs) are the first to be cut from struggling school districts.

If there is no organized outlets, kids learn in the street and will focus on those skills that are important in that setting, i.e. crazy dribbling moves (no ref=no traveling) instead of setting screens, dunking instead of jumpshots.

Still, why has this migrated to suburban areas and had a larger effect on basketball? - This style of basketball is flashy and individualistic and this is attractive to youngsters. Also correlates with an culture that inspires individualism over teamwork and cooperation.

In summary, issues with basketball, such as the propogation of street style basketball, are a symptom of socioeconomic pressures, NOT the cause of those issues. What could be said is that And1 expoit and profit off this outcome and therefore assist in its cultural spread since it now generates capital profits for investors.
The real question...how do you deal with this phenomenon?

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Friday, July 25, 2008

Quick Thoughts



In the classic Nintendo game Megaman, you fought robots that had special powers that they were named after. Stuff like Hammerman, Screwman, Sawman, Whirlwindman, and Tortureman. And once you beat them, you got to take over their special power. I don't have a comment to make, I just think that's pretty cool, and have based my entire life philosophy around that recently.



I was getting a burrito this week for lunch (what else is new, huh, I love those things.) and right behind me in line was a woman and her two 13 year old kids (acquaintances?) waiting to recycle their jarritos bottles. They had already eaten. Suddenly a middle aged voice from behind me piped up "Thanks again for the lunch mom, it was really good." I chuckled to myself thinking that the mother was one hell of a douchey passive aggressive old fart to try and pry a thank you out of her kid that way. Then I stepped out of the way after giving my order and the one young girl said to the woman manning the cart "Can I recycle this here?" In the exact same creepy middle aged voice! It was her all along. She was in fact a very polite young girl who had been cursed with the voice of mama from mama's family. Or maybe a young patti/selma or something. I tell you, it was unnerving. My burrito tasted like a mockery of the sanctity of life. Icould barely enjoy it, but I got green sauce so I could.



If I was a judge, I'd be one of those weirdo judges who sentences criminals to bizarre and borderline "cruel and unusual" punishment sentences.

things like:
YOU GOTTA READS THE BIBLE!
I'MA MAKE YOU WEARS A SANDWHICH BOARD WHAT SAYS YOU ARE A THIEF
I SENTENCE YOU TO NO MORE BABIES UNTIL YOU LEARN ENGLISH
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/5777

Please post your punishments in the comment box.

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Friday, July 18, 2008

Hand Solo



I busted my hand up the other day. It doesn't want to bend at the wrist and is pretty weak gripwise. I'm like the old GI Joe before he got the kungfu grip. My hand is all shitty at holding things. Rifles, binoculars and tent stakes fall right out and into the heating vent before mom vacuums them up and yells at me when Uncle Sam's head ruins the beater bar on the Hoover.



I went to the doctor on Tuesday. He told me, yep it's busted. Then he sent me to the xray technologists. Unfortunately, his office hours are MonTueFri. SO I don't know if I have Prognosis Negative. He might have called work, but I'm at home instead as part of that ongoing Work Release Program the Government set up with me. I'll have to call him I guess. More to come on that unified front.

But as I thought about Luke, it made me realize that Lucas had some weird shit going on with people getting their hands cut off and then thrown down holes. Seriously think about it.
LUKE IN EMPIRE
EMPEROR PALPASHMEAR IN RETURN
DARTH NINJA IN EPISODE 1 WHATEVER THE HELL IT'S CALLED
BOBAFETTE SUMMER IN RETURN
MOLA RAM IN TEMPLE
ANAKIN'S PENIS IN ATTACK OF THE CLONEAWILLYS

I guess I'm saying that Lucas is fucked in the brain. Combine him being all scared of holes (vaginas) with all the incest stuff, and the muppet babies thing he kept doing in the prequels and it appears he has a touch of THE ISSUES. Thoughts?

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Thursday, July 17, 2008

On the Disabled List


I visited home for a week and learned that my sister's family had Wii. This was my first time playing and it was frickin great! The Wii is fun as hell. I did not play any complex games, mostly Wii sports, except for a FIFA soccer game.
Flash forward...my forearm/elbow hurts! I have tennis elbow from a video game that I only played spuriously over a period of 3 days! I played tennis all of high school and never had any arm pain, but I play Wii bowling and tennis over a three day period and I have trouble lifting my daughters. You know you are old when it is not sports that put you out of commission, but a video game.
More eerily, though, is that I was predicting to my wife that there is going to be a rash of Wii related tendinitis, tennis elbow, and carpal tunnel. Yes, this had already been all over the Internet, but I had not been privy to the Wii yet.
So the question is whether or not the Wii is a devil in a blue dress?

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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Walk Tall



A few Fridays ago I was walking downtown and I passed a luxurious bus outside a hotel. Getting out of the bus were some large men of the african american persuasion. They weren't large enough to be that impressive, and since the NB and A is out of session, I knew they had to be the And1 fellas. (I guess I could have guessed it to be Snoop's posse) I ended up being right because the And1 fellas were plastered all over the side of the bus, Escalade, Professer, and Hotsauce are readily noticeable and undoubtedly household names.
Then I noticed that they were filming the guys getting off the bus, and I was going to walk right past them. I would be on film. This could lead to my discovery.
I was ecstatic. Unfortunately I was wearing a polo over my RAMONES tshirt, otherwise I would have looked super slick. Then I realized I was listening to the Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack and I felt very selfconcious and not tough anymore, and I think SkiptoM'Lou would beat me up if he knew how much I like the song "wig in a box"

In summary: And1 and ESPN are responsible for destroying the fundamentals of modern basketball and have done more to hurt the abilities of african americans to succeed in our society today than crack, the CIA and Muggsy Bogues combined.

Sincerely, Birdflag

Birdflag is a reculsive kook whos letters to the editor have appeared in such varied publications as the Cincinnati Enquirer, Guns Illustrated, and Mother Jones magazine since 1985.

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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

9 Times

So, today I just started working my 9th day in a row. Nine times. I haven't been skipping school. Since Kyle decided to show you every minute of his life on Monday, here's a glimpse of mine from the last nine days.

I show up at 7:30 and get in a bunny suit. They're made of Gore-Tex, so they aren't exactly cool. Here's a video of what they look like and what the fab looks like.

Now imagine wearing one of those in this really noisy room and all of these machines blaring out stupid ice cream truck songs all day long. OK, good, now, you're standing for 10 hours and you have your head stuck inside one of these trying to fix it.


That's my life from the last nine days.