quandaries
This is not for the ladies. Ladies don't use the turlets as far as I am concerned.
This is strictly for the fellas.
Okay, this is a series of semantics questions.
1-Rest room is vacant, where do you #1.
2-Restroom has occupant in location C, where do you #1
Bonus: where do you #2.
3-Where do you wash your hands.
4-You are doing #1 in location F.
A stranger enters the restroom and begins talking to you directly, and then proceeds to also do #1 in location E. What do you do.
Labels: being a man is difficult
posted by The Cruise at 1:10 PM
10 Comments:
1.E. F doesn't have a divider.
2.E. See answer #1.
3. I don't. I don't 2 in public unless I really really have to.
4.H/J/K
5.I talk back. Chatting's okay. It would be more strange if he washed his hands at G.
I have actually thought about this alot. I thought that sometime in the future I would do a paper of "The Geography of the Mensroom: The Socioeconomic Patterns of Restroom Utility." What underlying factors would create different answers to your questions. Are the answers you get accurate, or are actions different from nonactive response?
1. F
2. #1-F #2-B (I avoid those high differentlycapabilitized toilets if possible)
3. K (Closest to the paper towel or dryer)
4. Chuckle politely, making it clear I have no interest in conversation....or, depending upon my mood, say, "yeah, that's fucking awsome!" no matter what his comment is.
An important note: If you piss in a stall when there is a urinal open, YOU ARE A PUSSY! And you probably piss on the toilet seat without cleaning it up. The mensroom proves that men are dirty piss spraying, booger smashing, feces smearing apes.
I cleaned bathrooms at a family campsite for a month or so. The women's restroom was *always* in worse shape than the men's one. This was also true at Barnaby's, the pub I worked at for 3 years. But that may be skewed by the fact that we had a couple of crazy ladies (using the term loosely) who would just crap all over the seats from time to time.
1-A
2-A, A
3-H
4-look him in the eye, then look down at his junk. show him your index finger and thumb held about two inches apart and then piss on his shoes.
Kyle, you are not a pussy. I understand why you would use A; legislation has provided public equity for your kind. Please refer to the discussion of your inclusion in the "perceptual motors" program.
1.) F
2.) #1: F, #2: A. Always leave a "buffer" space.
3.) K, furthest away from everyone
4.) Say something or chuckle to seem amicable, do not try to carry on a conversation.
Ironically, I thought about posting something similar to this a long time ago, but never got around to it.
Who uses right-handed flush valves? Aussies?
A for all of them. It's like a sanctuary in there. Avoids conversation, room to stretch out, minimal backspash. ADA toilets are the best thing to happen to non-handicapped folks in forever.
Also, as a followup, if someone was in A and in C, would you use B or go to another floor?
1. F
2. F
(bonus) F.
Actually C. Statistically the first stall is the least used, mostly because people assume it is the most used.
3. G
4. Nod. Avoid eye contact. Speak if necessary, but attempt to survive on grunts alone.
Here is an excerpt from my public restroom usage handbook. Assuming that public restrooms are dirty-you must use the least used and therefore cleanest stall. How do you find this elusive stall? Here are some keys a)people are lazy- use the stall farthest from the entrance, b) people are mostly right handed- always use the stall on the left and c) if there is a stall with the lid up (women or men's, room assuming there are urinals) this stall has most likely not been used since it had been cleaned last.
I am pretty sure people are more germ adverse than they are lazy. So the notion that the farthest is the least used seems a stretch to me.
However the notion of using stalls to your left sounds like good strategery.
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