The Market's Just Ripe for This One
Entertainment Guide #5: Unemployment!
(with a bonus quiz!)
This week's entertainment suggestion: quit your job, switch careers and try to get that low-paying, foot-in-the-door internship! Remember kids, the joy is in the search, not the find.
Not only will you feel like a hot commodity when firms call you to request interviews, but you'll get to quickly and efficiently check out the latest in office furniture and mini-conference rooms! Also look out for such unexpected gems as receptionist hair styles, the best and worst handshakes and outdated wall hangings.
*****Take the Quiz: Is an Interview Vacation Right for YOU???*****
See how quickly you can come up with intelligent, articulate and self-congratulatory answers to the following questions.
1. Tell me about yourself.
2. What skills can you bring to the office team? (Hint: Don't forget that you don't really have any skills in your new career, so try to make something up.)
3. What are you strengths and weaknesses? (Hint: Make sure your weaknesses are actually strengths.)
4. Why did you choose that major in college and how the hell does it relate to the job for which you are interviewing?
And one multiple choice:
When trying to answer the above questions you:
A: Vomited, you can't stand to think about yourself or your career.
B: Recorded yourself because you liked the way your answers sounded.
C: Lied.
--------Quiz Decoder--------
-If you answered A, you should give and Interview Vacation a shot anyway. Nothing boosts self esteem like a committee of people judging you on 30 minutes of conversation.
-If you answered B, please, keep your job, we don't need more people like you to compete with.
-If you answered C, I can't believe you lied. There are no right or wrong answers here. This is a safe place.
Does the job search lifestyle sound right for you? If so, check out future Entertainment Guide edition: Eighteen Creative Ways to End Your Employment Habit.
(with a bonus quiz!)
This week's entertainment suggestion: quit your job, switch careers and try to get that low-paying, foot-in-the-door internship! Remember kids, the joy is in the search, not the find.
Not only will you feel like a hot commodity when firms call you to request interviews, but you'll get to quickly and efficiently check out the latest in office furniture and mini-conference rooms! Also look out for such unexpected gems as receptionist hair styles, the best and worst handshakes and outdated wall hangings.
*****Take the Quiz: Is an Interview Vacation Right for YOU???*****
See how quickly you can come up with intelligent, articulate and self-congratulatory answers to the following questions.
1. Tell me about yourself.
2. What skills can you bring to the office team? (Hint: Don't forget that you don't really have any skills in your new career, so try to make something up.)
3. What are you strengths and weaknesses? (Hint: Make sure your weaknesses are actually strengths.)
4. Why did you choose that major in college and how the hell does it relate to the job for which you are interviewing?
And one multiple choice:
When trying to answer the above questions you:
A: Vomited, you can't stand to think about yourself or your career.
B: Recorded yourself because you liked the way your answers sounded.
C: Lied.
--------Quiz Decoder--------
-If you answered A, you should give and Interview Vacation a shot anyway. Nothing boosts self esteem like a committee of people judging you on 30 minutes of conversation.
-If you answered B, please, keep your job, we don't need more people like you to compete with.
-If you answered C, I can't believe you lied. There are no right or wrong answers here. This is a safe place.
Does the job search lifestyle sound right for you? If so, check out future Entertainment Guide edition: Eighteen Creative Ways to End Your Employment Habit.
posted by Raindog at 9:55 PM
5 Comments:
Excellent post. Thanks for reminding me why I haven't quit this job, much as I hate it sometimes. Only thing I hate more than my job is trying to explain to people what it is that I do.
What I do is I take the specifications from the customers and bring them down to the software engineers. I take them, well really my secretary takes them, or they get faxed to the software people, because the software people are not good at dealing with customers.
I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills.
That is what I would say I do here.
The seal has been broken...it is like a crack addict. I know it is destructive, but I must now paste my favorite Office Space quotations!
Peter: What if we're still doin' this when we're 50?
Samir: It would be nice to have that kind of job security.
Michael: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael: There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
I can't resist.
Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
uh? Space out?
Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
1. Tell me about yourself.
I'm really awesome, but I'm too humble to really talk about myself. Why don't we talk about what you think of me?
2. What skills can you bring to the office team?
Have you ever heard of electronic-mail? I'm good at writing them in funny ways.
3. What are you strengths and weaknesses?
I work esily in groups, that's a plus. But I'm a workaholic, sometimes I let my dedication to work effect my personal life.
4. Why did you choose that major in college and how the hell does it relate to the job for which you are interviewing?
Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to be an Environamental Designer. Well, when I was a little kid I wanted to be a carpenter but my parents wouldn't let me use the table saw without their supervision, so I changed my dreams.
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