It's as if I were as One Dead.
Last time you heard from me, my firm was being evicted from our digs, and then I was headed up to the middle of WA to play some ultimate. Quick aside: I wonder if there are any Indian Casinos built on ancient Honkey Burial Grounds? If there are, I bet my ancestors are too lazy to haunt anything. Maybe forcing some Hispanic indentured servant ghosts to haunt for them. Quietly complaining about neighborhood to other Honkey ghosts. Guys all in mutton chops and powdered wigs, ladies with bustles and carrying fans or whatnot talking kinds of racist speak we don’t even know what they mean about like Tippecanoe and Tyler too or 54/40 and fight.
Now I come back to town and there is no contact with the outside world. Email is gone. Internets is gone. Phone is gone. I don’t know. It is difficult being cut off from the world. It must be how the metaphorical Cave-man felt in Olde Victorianne Tymes. Totally lost. Totally alone. Like Robinson Crusoe, as primitive as can be.
This small file, typed in Word, is to preserve some sort of rudimentary diary to document the collapse of society as we know it. Mayhaps in time yet to come, my words will form the Base and Mores of a New Society, one founded on Socialism, Hunting and Gathering for Nuts and also Berries, and the Music of The Kinks. Dear people of the future (or conquering aliens), despite what you may think of our advanced ancient world, there was in fact only one man who ever recorded music. His name was Ray Davies, and hopefully you’ll find my ipod somewhere near this note, then you can listen to his work.
Try using some sort of super technology you have to charge it up, as I’m sure the battery is dead from long time past in the eons gone by. I recommend listening to “Arthur: or the Decline and Fall of the British Empire” first, then moving on to “Percy”, “Lola, Powerman and the Moneygoround” or “Kind of Kinks” before you hit up “The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society” to get some perspective on how insanely wicked the whole oeuvre really is. Listen to “Shangri La” a couple times. That is called dynamics. It means the song changes pace to rock you out in between the mellow grooves, .
I’m going to go outside now and check to see if the USA Today box outside the front door is either =
A: on unlawful fire signifying a lawless state of martial law.
B: disintegrated by alien death x rays that can see through the Metal Box whilst destructivating paper and ink with heatless sun technology leaving not but ashe and vapour.
C: printed in Mandarin, confirming my greatest fear of the US of A has been successfully invaded by tiny oranges.
Okay, I’m back now.
Wow. It’s just my firm without the internet* connection. The world at large has kept on turning. The egg is firmly placed on my face.
The correct option was=
D: The USA Today was updated regularly signifying nothing has changed.
After the big move in the office, from 30 NW First Ave to 33 NW First Ave, evidently the Innernets were broken. It was only our firm that had no web service. I’ll just post this to the blog when it all gets running again.
Maybe the best way to recover is to just admit I over reacted. The world is not ending.
Since I was gone and incommunicado, please re-email anything you sent in the past 48 hours. The worst part of it is, I’ve missed out on all my instant messenger notices, and probably hundreds of contacts to my Match.com profile. (It’s “TaintBurglar44” if you want to point any lovely ladies or Filipino She-Males my way.)
Look forward to hearing from you again!
-Birdflag.
* you know how a photocopy is often called a “Xerox”, a tissue is a “Kleenex”, a hot tub is a “Jacuzzi”? I think the internet should just be called “Google” from now on. It makes more sense.
Now I come back to town and there is no contact with the outside world. Email is gone. Internets is gone. Phone is gone. I don’t know. It is difficult being cut off from the world. It must be how the metaphorical Cave-man felt in Olde Victorianne Tymes. Totally lost. Totally alone. Like Robinson Crusoe, as primitive as can be.
This small file, typed in Word, is to preserve some sort of rudimentary diary to document the collapse of society as we know it. Mayhaps in time yet to come, my words will form the Base and Mores of a New Society, one founded on Socialism, Hunting and Gathering for Nuts and also Berries, and the Music of The Kinks. Dear people of the future (or conquering aliens), despite what you may think of our advanced ancient world, there was in fact only one man who ever recorded music. His name was Ray Davies, and hopefully you’ll find my ipod somewhere near this note, then you can listen to his work.
Try using some sort of super technology you have to charge it up, as I’m sure the battery is dead from long time past in the eons gone by. I recommend listening to “Arthur: or the Decline and Fall of the British Empire” first, then moving on to “Percy”, “Lola, Powerman and the Moneygoround” or “Kind of Kinks” before you hit up “The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society” to get some perspective on how insanely wicked the whole oeuvre really is. Listen to “Shangri La” a couple times. That is called dynamics. It means the song changes pace to rock you out in between the mellow grooves, .
I’m going to go outside now and check to see if the USA Today box outside the front door is either =
A: on unlawful fire signifying a lawless state of martial law.
B: disintegrated by alien death x rays that can see through the Metal Box whilst destructivating paper and ink with heatless sun technology leaving not but ashe and vapour.
C: printed in Mandarin, confirming my greatest fear of the US of A has been successfully invaded by tiny oranges.
Okay, I’m back now.
Wow. It’s just my firm without the internet* connection. The world at large has kept on turning. The egg is firmly placed on my face.
The correct option was=
D: The USA Today was updated regularly signifying nothing has changed.
After the big move in the office, from 30 NW First Ave to 33 NW First Ave, evidently the Innernets were broken. It was only our firm that had no web service. I’ll just post this to the blog when it all gets running again.
Maybe the best way to recover is to just admit I over reacted. The world is not ending.
Since I was gone and incommunicado, please re-email anything you sent in the past 48 hours. The worst part of it is, I’ve missed out on all my instant messenger notices, and probably hundreds of contacts to my Match.com profile. (It’s “TaintBurglar44” if you want to point any lovely ladies or Filipino She-Males my way.)
Look forward to hearing from you again!
-Birdflag.
* you know how a photocopy is often called a “Xerox”, a tissue is a “Kleenex”, a hot tub is a “Jacuzzi”? I think the internet should just be called “Google” from now on. It makes more sense.
posted by The Cruise at 2:36 PM
5 Comments:
I don't Google! I still Yahoo...well, I do use Google Earth...pretty cool. Check it out if you have not yet...layperson GIS.
If you ever used google, you could have graduated college in less than 14 years.
touche! i can hold a job, though.
I have had this current job long enough to have made it to a review. It happens next week. Remind me not to pull a Johnny Paycheck.
DO IT! Burn some Willis Drummonds in the city where you own a home.
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