I No Longer Need A Job
The other day, I bought some Gillette shaving gel at Fred Meyers. The kind for tough beards. Not necessarily because I have a tough beard, but more because the orange accent on the can would look better on my bathroom shelf.
When I got home, ready for a nice hot shave, the can sputtered and delivered no gel. The weight told me it was full; the lack of gel told me it was broken. I was forced to shave with Ivory soap, and that my friends does not quite afford the same level of comfort.
With the receipt obviously lost to the winds, there could be a reckoning to return the malignant vessel of non-gel deliveration. I came up with an ingenious plan, buy a new can of the exact same thing, and return the old one.
Buying a new can was pease (I tested this one in store to make sure it worked, the squirt of gel in aisle 3 is proof of my experiment). I also bought some new blades so I wouldn’t aggravate my face. Fortunately enough, there was a fitty cent coupon off of my purchase, so my 2.99 can only cost 2.49 on my discover card.
The next day I returned the old can with the new receipt, and was handed three, one (1) dollar bills. I was agog. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Imagine my surprise, it was as surprising as a girly touching me on my front bottom. The trick was that Fred Meyer’s in store coupons show up at the bottom of the receipt as unattached generic discounts. There was no way to track what the reduction was on. So not only did I scam The Man out of the penny they couldn’t be bothered to make change for, I was a sly fox and raked in a cool extra fifty cents for my clever use of coupon cutting.
In summary: I made FIFTY ONE cents, with little to no actual work on my part.
Easy street here I come.
When I got home, ready for a nice hot shave, the can sputtered and delivered no gel. The weight told me it was full; the lack of gel told me it was broken. I was forced to shave with Ivory soap, and that my friends does not quite afford the same level of comfort.
With the receipt obviously lost to the winds, there could be a reckoning to return the malignant vessel of non-gel deliveration. I came up with an ingenious plan, buy a new can of the exact same thing, and return the old one.
Buying a new can was pease (I tested this one in store to make sure it worked, the squirt of gel in aisle 3 is proof of my experiment). I also bought some new blades so I wouldn’t aggravate my face. Fortunately enough, there was a fitty cent coupon off of my purchase, so my 2.99 can only cost 2.49 on my discover card.
The next day I returned the old can with the new receipt, and was handed three, one (1) dollar bills. I was agog. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Imagine my surprise, it was as surprising as a girly touching me on my front bottom. The trick was that Fred Meyer’s in store coupons show up at the bottom of the receipt as unattached generic discounts. There was no way to track what the reduction was on. So not only did I scam The Man out of the penny they couldn’t be bothered to make change for, I was a sly fox and raked in a cool extra fifty cents for my clever use of coupon cutting.
In summary: I made FIFTY ONE cents, with little to no actual work on my part.
Easy street here I come.
posted by The Cruise at 3:22 PM
5 Comments:
On a similar note, I once made $10 buying a pair of pants at Buffalo Exchange. The orange courdorys cost $10 and lo and behold when I tried them on, I found $20 in the pocket!
I could have taken the cash and split, but the pants were cool and they fit. How could I afford NOT to buy them!
Fred Meyer has the best return policy. I got caught trying to make up a fancy explanation for why I was returning something, and I realized mid-story that they didn't care. You could have brought back the can & said it didn't work, and they would have given you store credit.
Those return policies usually hurt the consumer in the end...like factoring in theft when considering costs then passing is on to the consumer.
I also must say that I hope no FMey representatives read this blog or Kyle C. in Portland is going down hard!
I guess they could say "screw you, you bought it, SUCKER!" But I doubt Fred Meyer's going to pass those savings on to us.
As far as I can tell, Freddie's makes their money off of higher priced groceries, which we usually get there because we need to buy an assortment of things & we don't want to go to multiple stores for that. And because I know their return policy is so relaxed, I'm more willing to take a risk on an unknown product that might turn out to be crap. I'm aware that I'm paying more, but for me it's worth the convenience.
sure it is.
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