I am not supposed to write about work
But this was too awesome of a work email to pass up.
All I changed was the names of my coworkers, and added a picture of an octopus in a car. The original was delivered as a serious policy decision.
Hello all,
Agatha had a visit from the office manager at the public defender's office on Friday. The office manager wanted us to be aware that they sometimes have clients, or former clients, come in to the office who are drunk, high or otherwise under the influence of a substance. These influenced individuals (and probably others as well) have been known to occasionally become belligerent or otherwise problematic, thereby creating a safety and security risk for the receptionist (as well as the rest of the office).
As our reception area is now somewhat isolated, I would like to put a policy in place that a former office of mine had to help protect Agatha and all of us in turn. If Agatha (or anyone else at the front) is in a situation where they feel unsafe due to visitors, Agatha (or whoever) is to tell the person that she will get someone to help them and then page for "Mr. Arnold to the reception area, please". This is an emergency call for help - all male employees are to drop what they are doing and rush up front to help her. And yes, I am referring to the Governator here. There is no need to page with an Austrian accent, however.
It may seem excessive to ask all male employees to come up but that way, the person who feels in danger does not have to think about who is here, who may or may not be on the phone and who the baddest lookin' dude is in the office at the moment. Also, if all male employees are to come to that person's aid, then there will always be someone there fast, and always more people coming. That will also allow for someone to quietly step away and call the police if the show of force does not solve the problem. Additionally, this is not meant to slight the women in our office. This also allows about half the staff (based on current demographics) to remain out of the mix and available for additional support or to call the police if things get REALLY ugly.
We will need to revise this policy if we hire someone named Arnold, but in the meantime, please consider this policy in effect. Please bring any suggestions or comments to me in an effort to streamline this new procedure.
Thanks,
Lutecia
All I changed was the names of my coworkers, and added a picture of an octopus in a car. The original was delivered as a serious policy decision.
Hello all,
Agatha had a visit from the office manager at the public defender's office on Friday. The office manager wanted us to be aware that they sometimes have clients, or former clients, come in to the office who are drunk, high or otherwise under the influence of a substance. These influenced individuals (and probably others as well) have been known to occasionally become belligerent or otherwise problematic, thereby creating a safety and security risk for the receptionist (as well as the rest of the office).
As our reception area is now somewhat isolated, I would like to put a policy in place that a former office of mine had to help protect Agatha and all of us in turn. If Agatha (or anyone else at the front) is in a situation where they feel unsafe due to visitors, Agatha (or whoever) is to tell the person that she will get someone to help them and then page for "Mr. Arnold to the reception area, please". This is an emergency call for help - all male employees are to drop what they are doing and rush up front to help her. And yes, I am referring to the Governator here. There is no need to page with an Austrian accent, however.
It may seem excessive to ask all male employees to come up but that way, the person who feels in danger does not have to think about who is here, who may or may not be on the phone and who the baddest lookin' dude is in the office at the moment. Also, if all male employees are to come to that person's aid, then there will always be someone there fast, and always more people coming. That will also allow for someone to quietly step away and call the police if the show of force does not solve the problem. Additionally, this is not meant to slight the women in our office. This also allows about half the staff (based on current demographics) to remain out of the mix and available for additional support or to call the police if things get REALLY ugly.
We will need to revise this policy if we hire someone named Arnold, but in the meantime, please consider this policy in effect. Please bring any suggestions or comments to me in an effort to streamline this new procedure.
Thanks,
Lutecia
posted by The Cruise at 1:53 PM
2 Comments:
do you work for a half way house or a rehab facility? what the f?
i see a perfect opportunity to illustrate the "cry wolf" phenom!
There is a public defender's office on the floor above us, they used to have this space.
It's funny, because back in cinti, we used to share a floor with some defense lawyers and would occasionally get some of their traffic trying to talk to us.
They were evidently a step up, because I always used to see them on channel 5 with the crazy newsworthy cases, you know like husband murders wife and blames it on the mailman kind of stuff.
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