My spiel is your Amen Break.

I have been away for so long. It’s been a bad idea, there’s probably so many folks that left to never come back. This first post back probably won’t even do me justice. Too short or too scattered, or just more of the lame. And I think I’ll just write about my dad only. What else would I bother writing about?

I’ll run down the last few weeks bullet point outline style.

1-My dad came to visit me. We had a good time; going on hikes, seeing the sites, shaming me into not drinking… In the seven days he was here, I was down to less than one beer a night. So I had to wait until Friday night when I could sneak out after he went to bed and go over to a party. It was like I was reliving the high school child hood I never had.
I even rode my bike so I could be quieter and drunker.

2-Dad got to meet my ex girlfriend, but unfortunately did not meet any potential future girlfriend. Danimal ran up to him at an ultimate game we were watching and mumble-shouted that “It’s okay, he (me) is not gay.” I would imagine that having a sweaty Pete Rose look a like assure you of your son’s sexuality is not that assuratative.

3-My parents have decided to move out west. This is a three year plan. Three years because that is how long it will take them to sell all their crap. (see previous posts re:A-crap, “amounts of” = sub index :”my parents”) So Dad and I spent a day looking at houses in Olympia. While he did find a house he really liked, it turned out that it was already sold. The owner of the house evidently didn’t think he had sold it yet, when he had.

4-Unperturbed by the failure to buy a house in person, they bought one over the internet. This dwarfs their previous major purchases of items sight unseen by a few figures. Hopefully this is better than the Diner Trailer, and the Airstream motor home fiascos. I have a goal, and that goal is to go see the house this weekend. Wish me luck. If it all works out, we’ll go have a party up there since my parents will be out of town. Out of town until roughly 2009. Kegger is the plan.

5-Dad and I spent a few days in Tacoma, and we had one of those great moments. My bro was at work, and so dad and I had the oldest nephew out there trying to teach him to rise without training wheels. Dad was the brawn and brains with his grandson, doing the majority of the teaching, but I stepped in with the late empathy to stop him from quitting when he was frustrated. The next trip around the block he got it. Riding solo with no help. Makes you feel pretty good and special. I filmed it, but knowing my luck it’s all jerky shots of everything but him riding a bike.

6-On the drive home dad gets the rental ford focus up to speed (60 mph) and hits cruise. That makes for a long drive. Luckily we have a bond that allows for us to spend hours at a time not talking. Our sum total conversation for the three hour drive is below. Not edited at all. Every single word is contained.

TheCruise-the road veers here, take the right lane.
G-Stoph-Okay. Don’t want to go to Seattle.
G-Stoph-Who is this?
The Cruise-Tom Waits. It’s my favorite song of his. Petty sad one..
The Cruise-Those lights there are the airport.
G-Stoph- Huh.
The Cruise-You can only turn right onto Powell.

7-I’ll gloss over him losing his driver’s license somewhere in Oregon, conveniently right before he has to get on a plane. Luckily Southwest saved the Osama for your mama, and let him back on his flight.
Now some OSU kid has a sweet fake where he’s a 58 year old bald dude.

8-I’ll shove this up on the site, but stay tuned for the major G-Stoph development that warrants its own post …