Walk Tall
A few Fridays ago I was walking downtown and I passed a luxurious bus outside a hotel. Getting out of the bus were some large men of the african american persuasion. They weren't large enough to be that impressive, and since the NB and A is out of session, I knew they had to be the And1 fellas. (I guess I could have guessed it to be Snoop's posse) I ended up being right because the And1 fellas were plastered all over the side of the bus, Escalade, Professer, and Hotsauce are readily noticeable and undoubtedly household names.
Then I noticed that they were filming the guys getting off the bus, and I was going to walk right past them. I would be on film. This could lead to my discovery.
I was ecstatic. Unfortunately I was wearing a polo over my RAMONES tshirt, otherwise I would have looked super slick. Then I realized I was listening to the Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack and I felt very selfconcious and not tough anymore, and I think SkiptoM'Lou would beat me up if he knew how much I like the song "wig in a box"
In summary: And1 and ESPN are responsible for destroying the fundamentals of modern basketball and have done more to hurt the abilities of african americans to succeed in our society today than crack, the CIA and Muggsy Bogues combined.
Sincerely, Birdflag
Birdflag is a reculsive kook whos letters to the editor have appeared in such varied publications as the Cincinnati Enquirer, Guns Illustrated, and Mother Jones magazine since 1985.
posted by The Cruise at 3:26 PM
12 Comments:
Skip to M'Lou is in the NBA now. Bone Collector isn't.
I really enjoy "Wig in a Box" too. The whole soundtrack is great. What a movie, eh?
-Huffles
Your And1 name could be "Wig in a Box." Your speciality could be that you dunk so hard over people that you scalp them...hence they need to keep their wig in a box if they even hope to guard you.
Really, your And1 name would be "Toss n' Fetch" since this is your dribble technique.
My favorite nicknames are those that are just other names. "My name is Charlie, but people call me Frank."
TOSS'NFETCH is probably the most accurate nickname I could have. good call.
a few months ago i did a left handed dribble drive for a layup that involved me doing a 360 to get in the right position. everyone said it was the ugliest/most effective move they had ever seen.
i still haven't mastered the whole method of not keeping the ball as far away from my torso as possible.
I suppose that would make me Brick Sauce or Hoopdie Who. When we played with Dave Collins that one time he rapidly figured out that when I set up for a three it was really more of an alley-oop for a layup. No rim. That cinches it. I'm Alley-Oops.
So, what would my And1 name be?
Fat Lever
or
Itallion Scallion
Fat Lever is already taken, but I am not sure the meaning in my case. Obviously, it must be derogatory.
A Lever is a simple machine; it involves moving a load around a pivot using a force. Many of our basic tools use levers, including scissors (2 class 1 levers), pliers (2 class 1 levers), hammer claws (a single class 2 lever), nut crackers (2 class 2 levers), and tongs (2 class 3 levers).
Why would you think that's negative?
Overweight simple tool.
I thought you forgot to insert PH instead of the standard F and knew that I utilize the futuristic Lever 2000 soap.
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