Spawnfest predictions:
1-Shazbat
2-Crazy State
3-Epstein
4-BerzerkAmylikehotties
5-Sidekicks
6-Lit Junior*1
7/30-Everyone else
-Last year, Juan Epstein had problems with two things:
1-They couldn't beat a team that picked up their women 2 days before the tournament.
Was this because the infusion of men's players couldn't deal with the estrogen?
If so, look for a better showing because they added another 14 women to their team, and got rid of most of the offending xys.
Or, just look forward to the new guys looking off all 35 women on the roster.
Either way, it will be the same. Or just exactly the different.
2-They also couldn't beat the world's second tallest transvestite*2 and the 21st century version of the Beau Duke.
If both those two show up, look for more trouble, because Juan Epstein is shorter this year.
-Showers fell through. No showers. We have been told we can rinse off in the stream though. That makes up for it. At least whoever rides home with Miles won't be able to tell the difference.
-Evidently my team got confused as to which tournament we're playing in Burlington, because we are taking a Gnarly Gnines squad.
Shoot me now, I'm scrounging people off of Dirty Thirty. And the people I'm picking up will be our ringers. I'm also fully expecting to have a player quit the team and join the opposite team at half, it's the only new method of desertion I haven't encountered yet.
-Fiber could conceivably put an entire 7 person line on the field, have them all stand on each other's shoulders, and still not be able to dunk a basketball. In case you were wondering, I am implying that a basketball hoop resides 10 feet off the ground, and that Fiber has short people on the team.
-If we play Swizzle, Brad will foul me intentionally, tell me the rules wrong, and then apologize after the game. The only way I see this happening otherwise will be if I am mistaken, and Ryan fouls me instead.
-Sidekicks will show up at the party and somebody will break something. Probably Ma breaking TJ's butt hymen.
Then both our teams will go eat at that mexican place.
-Wasabi will win the spirit award like always. And they will all puke at the party, but still drive me back to the fields.
-I will have more fun than last year. Because I think it will rain less than 15 inches while I'm on the field.
The salmon will be a letdown, the showcase game will be sparsely attended while people look for ways to wash up, the japanese women will make me go deaf, the open players will have some guy stalking the sidelines with an armbrace made of beer cartons, I will hear at least three stories of somebody punching someone on the field, and this year we will take turns driving home to be very safe.
*1 This ranking will occur entirely in the magical happy land that exists inside their skulls. A place some of us like to call "Crazyville, population You, you deluded psychos".
*2 Rupaul is number 1 at 6'7"; 7'0" in heels.
1-Shazbat
2-Crazy State
3-Epstein
4-BerzerkAmylikehotties
5-Sidekicks
6-Lit Junior*1
7/30-Everyone else
-Last year, Juan Epstein had problems with two things:
1-They couldn't beat a team that picked up their women 2 days before the tournament.
Was this because the infusion of men's players couldn't deal with the estrogen?
If so, look for a better showing because they added another 14 women to their team, and got rid of most of the offending xys.
Or, just look forward to the new guys looking off all 35 women on the roster.
Either way, it will be the same. Or just exactly the different.
2-They also couldn't beat the world's second tallest transvestite*2 and the 21st century version of the Beau Duke.
If both those two show up, look for more trouble, because Juan Epstein is shorter this year.
-Showers fell through. No showers. We have been told we can rinse off in the stream though. That makes up for it. At least whoever rides home with Miles won't be able to tell the difference.
-Evidently my team got confused as to which tournament we're playing in Burlington, because we are taking a Gnarly Gnines squad.
Shoot me now, I'm scrounging people off of Dirty Thirty. And the people I'm picking up will be our ringers. I'm also fully expecting to have a player quit the team and join the opposite team at half, it's the only new method of desertion I haven't encountered yet.
-Fiber could conceivably put an entire 7 person line on the field, have them all stand on each other's shoulders, and still not be able to dunk a basketball. In case you were wondering, I am implying that a basketball hoop resides 10 feet off the ground, and that Fiber has short people on the team.
-If we play Swizzle, Brad will foul me intentionally, tell me the rules wrong, and then apologize after the game. The only way I see this happening otherwise will be if I am mistaken, and Ryan fouls me instead.
-Sidekicks will show up at the party and somebody will break something. Probably Ma breaking TJ's butt hymen.
Then both our teams will go eat at that mexican place.
-Wasabi will win the spirit award like always. And they will all puke at the party, but still drive me back to the fields.
-I will have more fun than last year. Because I think it will rain less than 15 inches while I'm on the field.
The salmon will be a letdown, the showcase game will be sparsely attended while people look for ways to wash up, the japanese women will make me go deaf, the open players will have some guy stalking the sidelines with an armbrace made of beer cartons, I will hear at least three stories of somebody punching someone on the field, and this year we will take turns driving home to be very safe.
*1 This ranking will occur entirely in the magical happy land that exists inside their skulls. A place some of us like to call "Crazyville, population You, you deluded psychos".
*2 Rupaul is number 1 at 6'7"; 7'0" in heels.
posted by The Cruise at 1:32 PM
1 Comments:
Wow, so much good stuff.
In defense of Lit Jr, they were seeded below rebiFiber, 'sabi, Choclat Flotsam, Capital Hill Gang, Artesians & Coltrane? WTF!?! Last year that group (minus me & plus some different short aggro dudes) beat each of those teams multiple times, except Coltrane which didn't exist.
Newsflash: Coltrane didn't win the B-pool last year, Scuber did.
It takes a lot of braking power to slow a moving Bradryan.
That mexican place is sweet. I got a wristband there from the 25 cent gumball machine.
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