The real reason I wrote that last post was because it was for the special surprise. This week is Caveman week here at birdflag. All my posts will be about cavemen.
Today features an interactive post. Look at the witty sketch above. The punchline is strangely absent. You can change that. You can add the punchline in the comments. Get to it. Here's your opportunity to be a star. Best caption gets a beer.
It’s been a little over a week and I still feel excited and impressed about the future. But I still don’t have a personal hovercar, or a teleporter. Maybe we’ll have to wait a spell into the first hundred days to see real change, but I guess I can be convinced to wait.
After an historic election like this, it’s always important to not only look forward and look back, but to also look to the present. Because that’s where we spend most of our daily lives living life. The past 8 years have not been personally difficult, just like the previous 8 years that happened 8 years ago were not personally awesome. Except that they pretty much were. The 8 years ago 8 years ago were when I was in college and then when I was drinking a lot and playing tons of hockey. The 8 years ago from now were filled with a lot of bad weather and I had surgery once. But don’t blame me I voted for Nader.
So back to the current or currency. Last Tuesday was a day that will live on in the days of famy (that’s the good version right? I didn’t want to say infamy). Except for that crapola with Prop 8, almost everything fell my way. Except maybe in Oregon there was something that didn’t jive right, either the kids didn’t get money or maybe the zoo babies, but ignore that for now, I’m going somewhere with this. We go into a new decade, a decade we can finally call something instead of just the Oughts. One more year of the Oughts, and then we’re going to re-energize the world with brash thinking and progressive thoughts and aggressive ideas to usher in the…shit. The decade of 2010 to 2019 doesn’t really have a thing for it either. Anyway, I think it’s important to remember that America voted for Hope and Change.
And even if you voted the other way, it’s okay, there is still a place for you. Just remember, in today’s Modern America, we are all Minorities on the inside!
NOTE: I DIDN'T DRAW THIS BUT WISH I DID. BUT IF I DID, I WOULDN'T HAVE SCREWED UP AND LEFT OFF LBJ. I DO LIKE THE 2 GROVER CLEVELANDS THOUGH.
This isn't over yet. Just because your candidate won does not mean the fight is over. There is still a lot of work to be done to fix this great nation. Over the past year we have focused on character, and personality, and looks, but not much on the issues. Especially not my issues. And I have a lot of issues. I'd like to tell you about them. Here is my 16 point plan to focus on in the coming 4 years. I would say coming 8 years, but I don't want my policies to take that long to implement.
1-There need to be major tax breaks to people who by hybrid cars that look like the ZZtop dragster. Also a scientific study should be undertaken to see if the girls who appeared in the ZZtop videos from the "Eliminator" and "Afterburner" albums were supposed to be ZZtop as women, or just their psychic familiars attuned to wish granting, because that would seriously change some of my adolescent erotic fantasies. For the worse.
2-Those Hiway Deth Krosses should be banned. I always look at them when I pass and it is probably a safety hazard.
3-A worldwide trade embargo should be enforced against Husker Du until they either reform and go on tour again, or at the very least have somebody remix "Land Speed Record". I also think they should have to go back into the studio and re-record "Warehouse" with Steve Albini.
4-The CIA should assassinate Mike Brown and install Cris Collinsworth as the Owner/GM of the Bengals.
5-Ban Comic Sans font.
6-Change the word "abortion" to just "bortion". I know it's just semantics, but people would still say "A Bortion" for a while because they would forget the name change, and saying that makes it sound like one, instead of possibly a bunch, so that would cut down on them and make everyone happy without impinging on women's rights.
7-Before I go, I just want to know, what's that number one birthday sign?
8-I don't really like any type of censorship, but I really think there should be more rules about limiting porn involving vomit. Everyone draws a line somewhere, and I draw it there. I would be willing be involved in a senatorial committee to discuss pee and poo and their use in porn though.
9-We have a national anthem. We do not have a National Theme though. Luckily I have narrowed it down to two choices. Take your pick. Optimally these two songs would be played in everyone's house before they go to bed. Or maybe one at night and one in the morning.
10-Steroids should be legal in professional sports, but not amateur. This is Laura's idea. Not mine, that's why it isn't as fleshed out as my brilliant proposals above.
That's what I've got for now. Luckily we will finally have the man in charge who can take control like we need.
It's like part nervous, part anxious, and part hungry. All three emotions.
I know both the readers live here, so there will be no tales of lines at the polling stations. Dropping a ballot off is a pretty sweet deal. Nice job OR. Anybody have a comment on voting? I don't. Except I guess in lots of places you get a starbucks drink if you have an "I voted" sticker. That's kind of bad for us here in mail in land, but I don't like coffee much anyway.
I normally shoot hoops on Tuesday night, but it might get called off due to lack of numbers. Most of the guys that play at this game work in the banking industry. I don't know if they swing red or blue really. I always assume white basketball players are Republicans, but you never can tell. They probably think the same about me.
Hell, most of you won't read this until about three weeks from now. Hope it's good news by then, right?
The real reason I wrote that last post was because it was for the special surprise.
