America's Endangered Jobs

Interesting career report I found thanks to my hotmail page.


By Chris Morgan, CareerBuilder.com Editor

While America's job outlook is healthy and many industries are projected to grow in the coming years, there are also signs that some occupations are becoming obsolete.

The majority of the decreases are in office and administrative support and production occupations, which are affected by the implementation of office technology that reduces the needs for these workers, changes in business practices, and escalating plant and factory automation. A majority of the job openings occurring in these occupations will arise not from job growth, but from the need to replace those transferring to other industries, retire or leave for other reasons

Here are some of the jobs expected to severely decline between now and 2014, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Farmers and Ranchers
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 155,000
Why they're endangered: The long-term trend toward consolidation of farms into fewer and larger farms is expected to continue displacing small independent farmers. The average American is now also allergic to vegetables, forcing most independent farmers to grow vinyl or coal, which are typically low reward crops.

Sewing Machine Operators
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 93,000
Why they're endangered: I don’t know. Robots or something will do it instead.

Mail Clerks and Mail-Machine Operators
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 59,000
Why they're endangered: The demand for such clerks will be offset by the use of electronic communications technologies and private delivery companies.

Fluffers
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 48,000
Why they're endangered: Scientists are perfecting a synthetic vagina that straps onto a person’s waist sort of like a sex bucket held up by a belt. It is even better than a mouth.

Telemarketers
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 42,000
Why they're endangered: Telemarketers' employment will decrease as more people opt out of receiving telephone calls and as blocking technology improves. More people are also getting interested in regular cross country skieting instead of telemarketing.

Meter Readers
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 22,000
Why they're endangered: The way this country is currently run I wouldn’t doubt it if no one could afford electricity in 8 years. We’ll all be living in the woods eating centipedes and hunting squirrels with sharpened rocks so who cares about paying your water bill at that point.

Telephone Operators
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 14,000
Why they're endangered: Developments in communications technologies -- particularly voice recognition systems -- will continue to have a significant impact, and electronic communication through the Internet or e-mail provides alternatives to telephone communication and requires no operators. Luckily all these jobs will be lost in India. And Brown people aren’t as important as cream colored folks.

Give your examples

The following notes are from The Scientific Quest for the World's Funniest Joke.

Three reasons why we find jokes funny:
#1-When they make us feel superior, by depictions of people being silly or stupid, by circumstance or design.

A guy’s walking past an asylum, and can hear all the inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!!!”. He peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and a finger suddenly pops out and jabs him in the eye. He yells in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!!!”.

#2-When they reduce emotional impact of anxiety-provoking situations, stuff that we’d otherwise avoid – death, sex, marriage, authority, bodily functions...

A woman told her friend, “For eighteen years my husband and I were the happiest people in the world. Then we met”.

#3-Surprise at incongruity, including puns and word-play.

So I went down to the local gym. I said, “Can you teach me how to do the splits?”
He said, “How flexible are you?”
I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

None of you will care

I'm in a computer-ized Fantasy Football league. My team is amazing (I won't bore you with the roster, that's an assured snore fest.) and this league is great because there are 16 teams. So that means that there isn't a tema that doens't have to shove out a #3 wide receiver, or a back up running back into their starting lineup. My boys pummelled last week's opponent to the tune of +40 points.
But shit man, the computer predicts a tie between me and this weeks squad of losers.
I think that's insane, I'll win in a landslide.

Lo and behold, he rides Peyton to the game of Peyton's life (ie. any game not in the playoffs. We go neck and neck all day, thanks to me relying on all my players.
Right at the end of the Colts game, Vanderjagteri pulls his groin and has to skip the last kick. I miss out on one sure, easy point, and we do end up tied. There are no ties in football. Are there? But then I notice he still has the Pitt kicker left to play. Son of a bitch, We both tie with the two highest scores in the league, and he's going to get some gimme win from a damn kicker. This is karma.

I was on the edge of my seat hitting reload on the live nfl site since I don't have cable. Will the dude boot the ball for digits? Or maybe I'll get lucky and he'll shank one giving me the win. It was nerve wracking getting the updates.

Wow, fantasy football is fantastic.


I'll try and write something that people will actually care about soon.

Here's your poll question. What's the most boring thing you love that no one else could cares about?

Stuff on my desk

What's on your desk?

Native Tongues with a sprinkle of PE

A Tribe Called Quest is on a Reunion Tour!
I got nostalgic...some De La for ya.

http://www.vh1.com/artists/az/de_la_soul/videos.jhtml

Check out Ego Trippin'

... From their best album, Buhloone Mindstate....second best track on the album besides In the Woods.

PE on the Political tip...
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?p=public+enemy&ei=UTF-8&b=24&oid=90f98db17e33cc1e&rurl=www.ifilm.com&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fvideo%2Fsearch%3Fp%3Dpublic%2Benemy%26ei%3DUTF-8%26b%3D21

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?p=public+enemy&ei=UTF-8&b=49&oid=05f77325d81a9844&rurl=www.ifilm.com&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fvideo%2Fsearch%3Fp%3Dpublic%2Benemy%26ei%3DUTF-8%26b%3D41

Anniversary: or How soon is too soon?

They say that Time plus Tragedy equals comedy.
But is there ever a time to make light of truly horrific events?

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole and die.”
- Mel Brooks:

I don’t know, I’m not a professional funnyman. I’m no Carlos Mencia or Joe Rogan or Carrot Top. All I am is a guy who likes to make people smile. But there are lines I shouldn’t cross just to get a laugh. I did that, and I apologize. As you all know, it was recently the anniversary of a very trying period in our nation’s history, and I made a callous joke to make light of the situation. I could have removed my offensive post, but I’m man enough to admit my mistakes. So I’ve decided to come clean and give the real story.

This is roughly the one month anniversary of my father breaking his ankle, and I made light of the situation by fabricating a story of daring do to cover up the real reason he was injured. Here I am, coming clean and giving you the real occurrence.

My dad loaded up a box of civil war books to sell on Ebay, and put them in my family’s pink golf cart http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2082/1326/1600/DSCN0117.jpg

My dad got out of the cart on the way to the other house to open up a livestock gate, when the box slid off the seat and hit the gas pedal. The golf cart shot forward at 5 miles an hour and ran over my father’s leg, crushing it. He bravely remounted the golf cart that was now spinning its wheels in an attempt to move past the fence and drove to my mother, who was able to transport him to the hospital. This is the true story, and is obviously no laughing matter.

Sorry for the pain I caused.

My Tribute to Victims of 9/11

David Ray Griffin: http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?ei=UTF-8&p=david+ray+griffin&b=17&oid=cd5878c53e7df554&rurl=www.gagnauga.is&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fvideo%2Fsearch%3Fei%3DUTF-8%26p%3Ddavid%2Bray%2Bgriffin%26b%3D11
Boy...what a nut.

Billiard Balls: http://janedoe0911.tripod.com/BilliardBalls.html
What another nutty argument.

Where do these crazies come from with all their inconvenient facts?

Breakin' ankles...seriously.

Kyle claims there was "clammerin'" for my story on breaking my ankle so I posted it under a previous entry....however there were no comments. If you are clammerin' I want something!

I was the manager of Journey's, an "alternative" shoe store in the mall...smells fishy, yes. Anyway, the store began to carry Soaps, the grind/skate shoe. It is basically a skate shoe with grind plates attached to the soles so you can run and slide on curbs and shit. Being a manager, I got a free pair. The shoes had one thing going for them and one against. For - pretty damn comforable....against - death traps made for teens and preteens. Well, I used to wear mine...mostly to work (we were supposed to wear shoes we carried. I lived, at this time, with another friend of Kyle's and mine. We were in a hurry to race out the door to pick up Taco Bell and get back to watch the Simpsons, but being quick on my feet, I got to the stoop about 30 seconds faster than Bryan. So...how should I kill that long timespan? Maybe I should jump up on the railing that was 6 feet from the concrete driveway with a 50-60 degree slope...yeah, that sounds about right. However, I was very careful since I had only grinded the edge of a picnic table at word. I carefully climed up on the railing and braced my weight against the overhang upright while I got my balance....THEN, I let go. Bryan came running out thinking I was f-ing around when I was actually writhing in pain since my right fibula was now bloken and my foot was at a right angle to my leg. He asked, "do you want me to call an ambulance or help get you to the car?" The ambulance was there in about 15 minutes...or 2 hours in excrutiating pain conversion. Yes I felt stupid...but I had to sit on a gurny for 2 hours, without pain killer, because there were more serious cases than me...f-ing triage. A nurse covered my foot with a sheet "because it was making others ill." Oh it hurt...and the hospital staff had be believing that they did not provide any painkiller in order to reset it...they just yank.I had to get some plates and screws to fix it...the screws popped out shortly after, lodging under my ankle bone...f-ing doctor did not believe me when I told him it was/had popped out in multiple trips. My now wife took a pic of me on our bed, trying to hammer the pins back into my ankle. The whole thing was a debacle.

Lame Attempt at Fostering Conversation

If you have an mp3 player, starting from the point you read this post, what are the next 5 songs you hear on shuffle. Post them and then make fun.

Normally this stuff doesn't bother me

But I'm actually sad that I guy I never met is now gone.