Unfortunate Passing

Early Christmas morning, well-liked sportscaster James Brown passed away in his sleep.

I didn't get a chance to fact check this because I've been at work, but I wanted to put this up here anyway in case this is where you get your daily dose of news.

It's really sad because I had just watched him on th efootball games earlier sunday afternoon. This will leave big shoes for CBS to fill, as studio hosts are hard to come by. Especially ones that can deal with Shannon Sharpes hideous attempts at pronouncing the english language.

Quick James Brown Bio:

-Brown was born February 25, 1951, in Washington, D.C. He is married to his wife Dorothy and has one daughter.

-Brown was host of the FOX NFL pregame for 12 years.

-Won 15 Emmy's, including best sound effects in a miniseries and

-The community-minded Brown participated in numerous charitable organizations including The Marrow Foundation, Darrell Green's Youth Life Foundation, Ronnie Lott's All Stars Helping Kids and The Fellowship of Christian Athletes and The Niemann Pick Disease Foundation.

-Brown was the first black man to attend Harvard where he was accepted for his high intelligence and ability to put a ball through a hoop.

-Brown invented Soul and Funk music in his spare time.

this is a public service announcement

8-21-52 to 12-22-02

Know your rights

Number 1

You have the right not to be killed

Murder is a CRIME!

Unless it was done by a

Policeman or aristocrat

And Number 2

You have the right to food money

Providing of course you

Don't mind a little

Investigation, humiliation

And if you cross your fingers

Rehabilitation

Number 3

You have the right to free

Speech as long as you're not

Dumb enough to actually try it.

I end this poorly

Just like a bad relationship, it drags on too long, then ends in disapointment.

The end of my business trip can be summed up with two points.

-I ate at an airport Chili's! two times in one day.

-I got a door slammed in my face because the airport workers knew I was there to start the machinations of installing computer terminals that would lead to them being fired.

Thanks for reading.
The correct previous quiz answer was Salah.

Topic of conversation:
What was the last movie you were excited to see based on previews, and were you let down?

Now, back to the story:

The TSA line moves very slow. Mainly because there is no one helping out. There seems to be more than one flight leaving at this very early hour, but the amount of workers is sparse. Maybe because of the hiring requirements, in my recent travels every crew has been made up of the same people, replicated in wave after wave, like a Konami video game from the late 80s.
-middle aged white dude who takes the job very seriously
-middle aged white woman trying very hard to be attractive but has her pants hiked up to right under her tits
-young black woman, script neck tattoo optional
-cool older black dude that looks like he would be fun to drink with
-morbidly obese person who really loves the metal detector wand

The plane to Phoenix was packed, but the majority of the folks seemed to be headed on to Vegas afterward. I would do that the next day because I am like that.
The lady seated directly behind me was one of the most inadvertently annoying people I’ve ever had to be around. She wasn’t mean, or conceited, or evil, she just never stopped talking. From the second she stepped on the plane, to the second I stepped off, I heard her voice non stop. In fact, it went a little, like this:

MY SON WAS IN VEGAS WHEN IT WAS HOT. 130 DEGREES I THINK THAT’S HOW HOT WATER BOILS THERE’S THE SCREENS THAT SHOW CHRISTMAS SONGS EVEN THOUGH IT NOT TIME YET AND LET ME TELL YOU 130 DEGREES IS HOT HOTHOTHOT I WAS IN PHOENIX AND THAT WAS HOT 110 DEGREES HOTHOTHOT IT’S DRY HEAT THOUGH HOT AT NIGHT BUT NOT HOT LIKE HUMID THOSE SCREENS GO DOWN BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF IT’S HUMID IN BALTIMORE THAT’S WHERE I WAS WHEN I WAS 18 AND HAD A MY SON MY HUSBAND WAS A DRUG ADDICT IN THE NAVY AND I LIVED WITH HIS SISTER WHO CHEATED WITH A MARRIED MAN AND HER HUSBAND LEFT HER SHE TOOK HIM BACK BUT I NEVER REALLY SAW THE MUSEUMS IN DC TOO HOT THERE AND SO FAR TO WALK THERE WE GO IN THE AIR THE WORST PART IS RIGHT BEFORE YOU LAND I HAVE TO TALK TALK TALK TO SOMEONE OR I GET TOO NERVOUS

It was like I met my mom again.

Just like I do every time I fly out of PDX, if my plane makes it into the air without hitting a flock of geese or any other bunch of birds, I quietly thank Spidey. So thanks again Spidey for making sure we didn’t kill a bunch of birds.

Another thing I always do on a flight is carry a Sharpie. I keep it close at all times. The idea is that if the captain comes on and gently hints we’re probably going down in flames, I plan on writing out my epitaph, or epithet on the surface of my tray table.
My two current choices that roll around in my mind are:

1-
Dear *****, I **** I have*** said it, but I really **** ***. You **** so **** to me, I just ****** you to ****. Thanks, and **** miss ***.

2-
f**k all y’all s**tfu***rs. You ain’t **** shit for me and I have grievances against *** turdburglars, ** there’s any luck this ***** blew the **ck ** right over your ***damn heads *** *** engine will Donnie Darko you right in the ****, bitches.

Just so you know, I added the asterisks to simulate the damage occurred from the airplane wreckage. It will give the FAA something fun to decipher and then release to the press.

Coming up next, the finale of my business trip. Stay Tuned!

IRON MAIDEN RULEZ!!!

P.S. The bassist has a Pokemon on top of his mic stand.

Workin’ it.

Alright, now is the time to give the inside outs of the biz.
Work blogs are where it’s at.

I recently got a new gig at my work that involved some traveling. A Major Air Carrier has plans to install information touch screens in their baggage claims areas. These screens will enable to find out which baggage carrousel a customer’s luggage is on, if it is in the baggage storage office, if it did not make a connecting flight and will be on another arrival, or if it is actually somewhere near Nome Alaska. It will also allow the Major Air Carrier to employ less people in baggage claims, because a computer can do they job better than they can damn do it.

My job is to travel to these airports to survey the whole scenery and tell the people exactly what it means to me. I meet with Representatives of the Major Air Carrier, take notes, and then give them a proposal of where to put these kiosks, and how to connect them to data centers.
A few weeks ago I had my test run, meeting with a woman from the Major Air Carrier’s head office [she was dead ringer for Melissa Ethridge circa 1992 (maybe just because of the purple blazer with extra long tails though)], and the architect who is doing all the same jobs back on the east coast (who looks like the dad from Teen Wolf).*
But that was then, this is now. I’m here to tell you about my most recent trip.




Got the early bird special, PDX to PHX at 5:35 in the AM because the meeting I had was on Monday morning, and too soon to fly then. I planned to meet up with my old friend from High School, to catch up and get a free place to stay.

END TRANSMISSION:
I know people hate to read too much at once, so I’ll just post this in segments to give it that actiony serial adventure kind of style.
That also gives me a chance to add a question about serial adventures.

WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SUPPORTING CHARACTER IN ANY INDIANA JONES MOVIE?


*Yes. All I ever care about is what famous person other people look like. But in other news, I did keep up my trend of seeing one semi-famous person every time I go to LA. This time it was Peter Noone from Herman’s Hermits. He was holding his cell phone directly in front of his mouth so he could very loudly into it. It was funny that I don’t think he knew how they work.

A Tidbit of Pop Culture

So a couple days ago I was perusing some forums as I always do, and came across quite possible one of the dumbest things of all time. The thread title was "Pimp My Ride", but it was in the game section. I thought, what the hell, I'll see what the hoopla is about. I open my thread, and inside I find the phrase, "Ghostriding the whip". What the fuck does that mean? Luckily, there were other people who had no idea what it meant. Someone was kind enough to explain that "Ghostriding the whip" means to get out of your car while it is going really slow and dance around it or on it. Police in the Bay Area have attributed several deaths to this. Honestly, how dumb is that. To make it worse, it has made its way into a video game. I've posted some examples below for your enjoyment. The first is from the game.

Finally Got my Wii

So, I finally bought my Wii this past weekend. Third time's a charm. Here's how it all rolled out:
Sometime in 2005: Nintendo is going to release a new console system. Holy crap, I'm going to buy it when it comes out.

• Early 2006: The new Nintendo, codename Revolution, is going to have motion sensitive capabilities in the controller. My response: "Fuckin A, that's rad".

• Later in 2006: The Nintendo Revolution is now going to be called the "Wii". My response, what a retarded name. I don't care, it's going to be tits. Launch day is November 19, 2006. I will be there opening day to have one.

• Anxiously I waited for the day to arrive and finally it came. Leading up into the launch weekend I was planning on where to go and at what time. I decided that the Target right by my house would be my best bet. If that failed, I would head over to Washington square, as there are about 5 or 6 stores in a 1 mile radius.

So, November 19, I wake up at 6, stay in bed for awhile, eat some breakfast, drink some tea, read the paper, and leave at 7. It's raining outside and I don't feel like standing out in the rain for too long. I get to Target at about 7:10-7:15. Holy crap, I got there a little late. I was about the 44th person in line. I came to find out that at 7 the store manager came out and gave 42 vouchers for all the units they had. I waited until opening, just in case they had some more. No luck. I spent the next 2 hours driving around town hoping to get lucky, but alas, I am not lucky. I returned home distraught, soaking wet, and hyped up on caffeine. I spent a good portion of the day reading of other people's failures and hoping to find one online.
Fast forward 1 week. I learn that Best Buy will be releasing a bunch of them on Sunday, the 26th.

I decided that it's the second week, demand will be lower, I'll get there when the store opens. So I drive out to Beaverton, show up right when the store opened (10am), walk in, and they had given out vouchers earlier before they opened. I later find out that they still had vouchers as late as 9am. FUCK!!!

Once again, I arrive home depressed. I continue to search online, but alas, none are to be found. However, I learn that the following Sunday, Target will have a bunch more.

We now arrive at yesterday. Knowing (and Knowing is half the battle) about the vouchers, what time they are given out, continued extreme demand, I set my lineup time to be 6am. Target opens at 8.

I wake up at 5:30, throw on some warm clothes, grab my DS so I can play Sudoku puzzles while I wait and head over there. I get there at about 5:50 and there are 2 people already waiting outside the doors. I wait for a bit because it's freezing. Around 6, several other people emerge from their cars to sit in the freezing cold. I grab my Spider-Man chair out of the back and head over. I'm number 6 inline, sweet. My batteries in the DS run out around 7, but it's OK, the people standing in line are very nice and we have some pleasant conversations about our previous waiting experiences and technology stuff in general. Finally, around 7:30 the store manager comes out and says that they have 30 Wii's. Yay! I'm going to get one. I walk out of the store 35 minutes later with a Wii and 4 games.

I only have 1 controller, so that's a new search, but I can tell you that this thing is damn fun. Similar to Dan's story about Guitar Hero. This is a system that anyone can pick up and play. The games are fun and involving. I'm glad I didn't spend a bunch of money on a PS3 or XBOX 360 so I can play the same games again with better graphics.

Props to Nintendo for taking a risk on going in a new direction with a home console game system and coming through.

Now, before you all make fun of me for standing in line outside in the cold/rain 3 weeks in a row for a video game system, you have to describe your experiences waiting in line to buy something. Yes, tickets for performances count.

Your Theme Music

Friday question.

WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL THEME MUSIC?

I know, I know. There would be various theme for different situations and various moods from moment from moment. So, what is your theme music when you WALK? If set in slow motion, what music is playing in the background.

Mine? The ultimate white boy rap song (no...not by the Beasties or even House of Pain)...

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER by Lordz of Brooklyn.

Beside evidentially watching too many deNiro and Paccino films, they are evidentially hardcore "Brooklyn Italian." The track is quite bloodboiling and works great when I walk in slow motion.
Watch the video