I must be desperate for your attention

You know that little hand motion wherein you concoct a circle out of your pointer finger, and thumb, then insert the pointer finger of your opposite hand, and gesticulate back and forth? When I was in fifth grade, a classmate of mine acted out that little pantomime in order to shock and (or) bemuse the rest of us. One of the girls instantly shouted out,
"Stop it, that's dirty!"
Up until her outburst, I honestly had no idea that the crude sign language was a representation of coitus. I felt that the circular portion combined with the rhythmic insertion of a rod was just a mock up of the act of cleaning a toilet with a brush. Or perhaps, plunging a toilet to relieve a clog. Some children were embarrassed by bodily functions, but I was taught not treat urine and feces as comedy material, so they were not to be considered "dirty".

I attempted to quell the mob and diffuse the situation. "Don't be a baby," I said "My mom makes me do that all the time."
Pandemonium ensued.

In conclusion, kids say the darndest things.

Like a Cosby special

My brother, SisterInLaw, nephew Oscar(6), nephew Calvin(4) and I were driving back from a Christmas Eve soccer scrimmage. The Bro asked his wife if she had needed glasses when she was younger, my Bro got his in 4th grade, I got mine in 8th grade.
She said she didn’t need them until she was in High school.
Calvin decided to jump into the conversation, and informed us that he had worn glasses.
Once.
I asked him if he could read with the glasses, “No I can’t read anyway.” He replied.
“Could you drive?” I asked, trying to recreate the joke about man having surgery on his hands querying about his piano playing abilities.
Calvin quickly answered, “No, I can’t drive. I’m a very bad driver. I’m so bad I could crash into a monkey.”

Everything I got for Christmas.

God Bless Daren McGavin.

This is falling apart.

So Ma Bell calls me up and says, want to go get some Pho?
I say Yeah.
It's two blocks from my house, I can't turn it down.

In a pusillanimous occurence, we both arrive at the same time.
Well, within a minute. Max.

We just talked the usual jibber jabber, pretty much about how his team will poach all of my team's best players for next year. Now I know what pops into your head right away.
How can PFN poach the captain? And you're right, I am the best.
Best like a serious Heart Attack. The kid where you lose your breath and your left arm hurts. That's my game.
Anyways.
I say that even though I'm the Best, I'm not really the best. It's all about pegs, holes, and the relative squareness and roundness of them both.*
For example; I'm not the best. By a longshot.

But then again, I was eating cow intestines in broth the whole time I was thinking of this tangent.
So where do you end up? In a circle. Back at the beginning.
Ouroboros.

But the last comment on this blog was from Rain.

How she found it, I can't tell. It's Full Circle though.
And I worked at a firm called Full Circle in Chicago.
http://www.fullcirclearchitects.com/about.html
Coincidence, or fact?

So the real point, is that not only is she really cute, by checking out her link I found out that you can have multiple publishers on this blog. So I'm opening it up. Email me if you want to control the content. Work is busy enough that I can't do this everyday. Obviously.


Then I thought about Transformers.


Why won't this work? This dialogue has shortcomings. We should all be like the Autobots and do this together.

* google "Square Pegs Sarah Jessica Parker"
I love Canadia.

Pichard Pryor-Lenny Bruce-Bill Hicks=Holy Comedy Triumverate

I guess you guys will only be geniuses once you're dead.
Sorry, I just think Pryor was 1960 Chappelle if Chapelle could grow a real moustache.

The Sunday Voting

What do they have in common?


































These are all the people that voted at the chili cook off yesterday.
How do I know this?
because i didn't win, that's how


Brett's chili won. I guess that's fine, if you're used to eating butts.

THIS SUNDAY

DOMINATE

ADDENDUM

EVEN BETTER, BUT UNAVAILABLE IN THIS BUFU COWTOWN.

Show Of Hands

Tonight at the PUFF meeting I plan on attempting a Coup D'etat of the board.
I am sick and tired of the direction this dog and pony how is headed.
So here's my platform, see if you are in my boat.
Because you are either with us, or you're an enemy of us and like our enemies more so we don't like you.

1-All fundraisers will be cancelled.
Money will be raised through tithes.

2-PUFF will get a new name:The CRUISEVILLE
The colors will also be changed. Brown and Green are ass.

3-Former boardmembers will be executed, or dispatched to Gulag, depending on the spin. You know the law, Bust a Deal, Face the Wheel.

4-All monies formerly earmarked for summer league will instead go to PUFFY.
Children are our future.
Only scrubs play summer league, and we're promoting growth, not crappy losers in this regime.

5-No President.
There will be no figurehead, the entire board will have equal say in accepting my policies when I am installed as Prime Minister Sinister.
All other titles of the board will be named after Decepticons.

6-We will lead as two kings.

7-All business decisions will be made like that story from the bible where the dude cut the baby in half and gave it to both fake moms.
Tough, but Fair.

8-Board members will be salaried.

9-Spring league will still be a draft league. Cut down to 8 teams.
Any player not picked after 7 rounds will be given a refund.
They will be given a refund, because they won't be playing.
Go home. We don't need you.

I am almost done, Friday Nov 10.

Friday I borrowed the familial Geo Tracker to drive up to Cincinnati.
In case you've never seen a tracker, it is a trar that is based on those pull back toys.
Pull it back on the kitchen floor (don't make it click too much, that's bad for the spring) and let go.
HILARITY ENSUES!
At least it had a cd player in it.

Part of the day was seeing some architectural sites around town that were new since my last visit.
Some other time was spent at my old job during lunch.
It was funny how many people are still there 4 years later, especially the people I wanted to see.
They showed me a retirement video for my favorite old dude, the man who is totally responsible for me not getting fired after two months at my first real job, and therefore responsible for me not going back to carpentry.
The beginning of the video pans over an old photo of me flipping double bird at the camera.
It made me wonder why he ever gave me a chance.

After saying goodbye to old friends, I gave myself a short tour of what's new in Cinti.
Part of what's new is Sasha's house. I used to work with the mad Ukrainian, and he's who taught me how to drink for reals. Shots. Brews. Shots. Cursin'. Using your hands to imitate sexual positions. It's all there. All from him.
He bought a house in a nice part of town, then tore it down. Built his own house. It's a modern monster, towers over the neighbors bungalows, the pitched roof steals their lunch money, and then pukes in their yard. The cedar siding commits adultery with their wives, and ignores any pretense of landscaping. In case the New Yorker wants me to be their new architecture critic, I must also comment that the slate kitchen lacked pretension, but the kit-of-parts stair abandons all connection to the bourgeoisies.
Him, his wife and two kids live with his inlaws. He is currently in hell.


Later, I stopped by to see an old friend.
Shake It. www.shakeitrecords.com
104 dollars later I had some new music that I had missed from Cincinnati bands.
Then I went next door to see Evil Leslie http://www.alisboutique.com and she gave me the lowdown on not only what happened to old friends, but what was going on with the bands that I bought.
Next I had to have dinner with Good Leslie, Evil Leslie's sister (yes, that's their real names, except for the good/evil part, don't ask).
She's my ex-girlfriend, but I don't mean 'had to have' like a bad way, just it would have been a loss to not see her.
Good Leslie and I had a very productive breakup. I got out of the relationship with minimum tears and fighting, she doesn't have to date me anymore. Win win.
It was nice to catch up with her. She's really nice, and she ended up meeting The One.
She gets married next year. Will I be invited? I hope so, we had some hilarious friends and she seriously could get amazing bands to perform at the reception. Yeah, she should invite me. I'd even get up and make a drunken toast.

The night goes on. Poker at Adam's.
Adam has been my best friend for long time now.
Except for when he wanted to kill me, or when I refused to talk to him.
Otherwise, BFF.
The only bad part was Adam had sent his little one, Sofia, off with parents, so she could get a good night of sleep. At least that is what I was told. Sofia paossibly may not exist, and Adam's wife simply collects baby pictures of other people's younguns.
I had never played TV Poker before, it's not as fun. It's less about strategy and counting cards as it is about bluffing.
Of course I could be wrong, one night probably isn't a surefire test to base an entire theory on.
But I've formed lasting prejudices on much less information than that, so I'll stick with it.
Sasha showed up later, so did Kevin, driving all the way from Indy to see me. Very nice.

Sasha and I bid adieu, and hit the Comet. www.cometbar.com
Our old hang out from years gone by. Best jukebox, best free bands, best bottled beer, best/worst bartenders, and worst pool tables in the country. Very nice to see Shannon behind the bar still, but then seeing Dale with a Highlife, Tony walking in drunk, Dave asking me about hockey, C drinking a Chimay, Rob shooting pool, Cap'n Jane leaning against the payphone, Paul waiting for the pisser, a Pogues cover band yowling away in the other room…it was like I never left. 4 years is a long time to feel like you've never left. Kevin had finished poker night and showed up later, Sasha went 'home' after getting fooled on brew, Kevin drove me back to his mom's house, then made me stay up until 4:00 playing pool.
I have good friends.