Review of the movie trailer Flight 93

So yesterday I'm at T***** J*** buying my groceries, and I see *-B***** in line. I wheel my cart over and butt in line, acting like a stranger. She smiles, and says hi, totally not surprised to see me(#1). I said "hey, what are you doing h****?" and she was all "***** * **** ** * ***** * * ***** ****", almost like she was embarrassed.
I thought whatever, it's cool.


(#1)this made me think she s** me and was h*****? Because not one second after that(continued below)

(Continued from page 1)L***** A** snuck up behind me and rammed me with her c***! It was like the same thing I did but l*****! I was surprised, because it was surprising. Right?

Later that night I played pool with my friend. We went to the Lutz and made friends with two funny guys, it took about 10 seconds to get along with them. A little spell later, three drunken frat guys came in and tired to fight our new friends. They must not have had 10 seconds to spare to get to know them. The bartender kicked the dumbasses out and called the cops. So our new friends came over and told stories about strippers who put ping pong balls in their vajoshahs.

I also found this old comic and scanned it in. It's like nostradamus or something.


Finally, the Movie Trailer Review.
It was jerky like his other movie, The Bourne Theocracy, and looked intense. I didn't recognize any actors in it, so maybe it's a documentary. I'm glad the song in the trailer wasn't Toby keith.

Children's Books

So, Birdflag suggested this topic as a good one for blog conversation, and I agree! Being in publishing and being the child of a former teacher and art major, I love children's books!

After having spent the recent past lamenting the fact that I cannot yet afford to purchase a tiny little condo in SE Portland, and the fact that I really have no idea why I even wanted to in the first place, or what I want to do with my life. I find myself wishing things were resloved as simply and artfully as a children's book. There is an issue, there is a solution, there is a lesson learned, then you take a nap.

Childhood favorites that I will pass on to my children (if I ever decide that I am okay with being preggers for 9 months of my life)

The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein and all of his children's poetry books (sorry I know I just said poetry on this blog)
Just for You, Mercer Mayer
There's a Nightmare in my Closet, Mercer Mayer
Anything by Eric Carle, wonderful collage-type artwork

Some newer books that I love are:
Mama I Love You, Barbara Lavalle -- beautiful Aluetain artwork
The Stinky Cheese book -- very funny -- even for adults!

What were your favorites?
If your life were a children's book, what would it be about, and who would illustrate it?

16 shells from a 30 ought 6

It’s been a rough week ‘round here boys. What with mortality and the whole ten. Poor choices maybe, or just reminding yourself of what never worked. Gets so a guy thinks too much. Here’s the one thing I was thinking about. Time.
That’s it. The passage of time.

Alright, I’ll expand.
It’s like the name of the decade makes a big deal. Back last century this decade was the oughts. Not like you “ought to do something”, but more like ought meant zero. So this was like “ought six” back 100 years. Think about that, what was ought five like? Last year or what? Also, it’s like the zero throws you. 1906 seems like a long time ago. 1887 doesn’t. I mean it seems really long timey ago, but not that bad. It’s like Thomas Edison and what not. No big thing. Do you feel that way too? Or is it just me? It’s almost the two thousand and teens. That’s the future, but today. I don’t like it. Really, just think about the timing. And it is all about timing, like how I’m really feeling stupid for totally missing out on peep season. What was I thinking? And time keeps moving, but everything stays the same. Like fractal bear. You can’t ex-scape.



Worsed case ontario, who would be the least obvious celebrity you would sleep with?
I don’t mean someone nasty, to make us laugh, or someone obviously hot like Jennifer Connelly or Cyndi Lauper (that’s just a time after time reference though. Or inside shout out)
But if you were in a bar, and a celebrity came up to you and hit on you, which celebrity would you be totally psyched to hook up with, and no one would expect it?
Mine would be Missy Elliot. I think she’d be fun in the sack.

Toothbrush

I have another post coming about children's books -- so stay tuned for that. I had some additional amazon links to research. So in the meantime I have a very "Sex and the City" topic. But I was thinking about it this morning in the shower.

The Toothbrush -- at what point in a relationship/hook up do you leave a toothbrush at the other person's house? And what does it mean? Does one person offer it? Do you just do it?

Happy Sunny Tuesday!

Missing From AFIs Top 100 Comedies

Trading Places (1983)
Starring Eddie Murphy & Dan Akroyd

Some random thoughts about this movie...I'm too scatter brained to organize them right now.

This is my favorite comedy, a movie I watch at least 5 times a year and one of the more quotable movies out there. It was made during the good times, when Eddie & Dan were peaking, when all good comedies were rated R, when Van Halen was still cool & Eddie Murphy was still funny.

Dan Akroyd plays the snooty wall street guy, the drunken Santa Claus, the helpless friendless soul living with a hooker as a business agreement, the rastafarian.

Eddie Murphy plays the street scammer, the "legless war veteran", the inmate braggart, the savvy stockbrocker who makes decisions based on street psychology.

Ralph Bellamy & Don Ameche doing a Statler/Waldorff routine. Jamie Lee Curtis with the token 80s boob shots. Frank Oz cameo (I dig Frank Oz). The Breakfast Club teacher playing a corporate spy. Bo Diddley in the pawnshop ("in Philadelphia it's worth fifty bucks"). James Belushi in a gorilla suit (this is the reason I own a gorilla suit BTW). Al Franken. Denholm Elliot ("Coleman? There's no Coleman here...")

I think I've always liked comedies where people switched places (Freaky Friday w/Jodie Foster was an early fave) and this is one of the best. This theme is what makes Brewster's Millions watchable for me. What would I do if this happened to me?

A few great scenes:
DA as drunken Santa on the bus, pulling salmon out of his dirty beard & eating it. DA hanging with his ivy league pals.
EM paddling around on the street pretending to be blind & legless until the cops pick him up. "I've got legs! Praise Jesus!"
EM singing in the hot tub "when I was a kid if we wanted jacuzzi we had to fart in the tub"
EM in the prison cell, EM in the limo, EM smoking a joint on the john....EM controls every scene he's in.

And of course the scene in the train car where even Jamie Lee Curtis is funny ("yes, I am Inga from Sveden").

A few quotes (there are TONS in this movie):
"Those men wanted to have sex with me!"
"It was the Dukes! It was the Dukes!"
"Beef jerkey time"
"It ain't cool to be no jive ass turkey...so close to Thanksgiving" "Yeah"
"thank you for correcting my English which stinks"

If you haven't seen this movie, you didn't get the joke in Coming to America where Eddie Murphy gives Randolph & Mortimer a bag of money, and Randolph says "Mortimer, we're back!"

It would be funny if there weren’t so many dead people

Beware of this Trailer

This looks a lot like the kind of thing Adam's dad Fred, and my dad would build on the weekends. One time they turned a fold out camper trailer into a wood hauling trailer using hacksaws and enamel paint. Luckily, Canada didn't see any satellite images of it, and then bomb us.

Post Tourney Grub, Western States

It was suggested in a recent e-mail that Hunan Chinese food in Madras was the new best post-tourney feeding post, and that American Dream was the former favorite. I've been to American Dream a few times after a tournament, and I can vouch for it being right up there, but I haven't been to this Chinese place in Madras. I do think there's a front runner for years that's being overlooked in the discussion:

El Gitano in Mt. Vernon.

First off, Mexican food is my favorite. And it's especially my favorite after a tournament because I'm HUNGRY & I get to eat chips & salsa immediately (mmm....salt), and then try to finish the huge plate of food they bring out to me after. Not only that, but the food at El Gitano is excellent Mexican food, consistently some of the best meals I've had, and I eat Mexican food all da time.

What else?

Their service is great, always doing their best to fit multiple teams into their seats quickly despite it being Sunday night (a popular eating night at Mexican places).

They have El Yucateco green habanero hot sauce, not just Tapatio or Tabasco (blech).

They have cool vending machines, with wristbands or Homies for a quarter.

Negro Modelo with a lime.

And I get to eat there at least twice a year, which is a bonus.

I used a sophisticated computer

I used one of Peter's spreadsheets and uploaded every player's abilitities for this weekend. Then I factored in style's offense and defense. The tough part was trying to get the data on wind calculations in Bend, so that information was a little off. I had to let the computer run uninterrupted for 4 hours (I need a new fatherboard and extra ROM) in order to let it come up with the calculations on who would win the tournament this weekend. Have you ever seen those movies where a guy has to hack into a system. That's how I do all my programming. I grab a Mountain Dew, push my glasses back up my nose, crack my knuckles with the backwards flex thing and then just smacking keys really fast. Like this sklajdg mzx;laje ijmdlks mglksa;gda;lgdk.
If something goes wrong, I just lean back and wait for my colleague to ask what's wrong.
"What's wrong?" my colleague asks.*
I shake my head. "Encryption. This is really advanced. Too advanced for just a regular accountant." I reply.
"Here goes nothing." is my only thought as I hunker back over the keyboard and type in BOOOTIEGIRRL, hoping beyond hope that the password is not case sensitive.

The cursor blinks green and the program goes on.

This is what it came up with:



I'm still getting used to computers and what they mean, but watch out this weekend, the computer might be saying I'll dominate.

* Did I mention my colleague is really hot? She is, and I'll bone her right after the missile silo blows up.

I will rent this man to dance upon my grave

I will rent someone else for yours.

Rare Jersey Design Photo

Not a very Brady Hawaii

So while the Brady's got bad juju from stealing some island totem, at least they had sunshine! Hopu ka Lewa 2006 was a big mud fest, complete with thunder storms, sewage spills, and bug bites galore. We did win the tourney, which was totally awesome!!!

However my post-tourney plans of lounging in the sun were foiled by a record 40 days of rain on Oahu. The front page of the Honolulu Star-Bulletin on Thurdsay read "Still Nasty"

I'm not bitter ;) And I did manage a bit of a tan thanks to 2 days of sun proir to the tourney. Topic of the day -- vacations gone awry (ala National Lampoons).

Never thought I'd be so happy to see sunshine in Portland! Oh, and happy belated b-day to the birdflag.