World Cup Fever

I've got it. Do you? It's World. Cup. Fever. The only cure is more World Cup!

I've turned the World Of Cups into a drinking game.
Here's how you play:
-When some guy with a stupid haircut falls over holding his shin, acting like a sniper just capped him, take a drink.
-When a player dribbles the ball out of bounds, then picks it up himself to throw it in acts incredulous that it's not still his ball, take a drink.
-When a player with only one name gets a card, take two drinks.
-The contestant that can do the best irish or mexican accent gets to give out 4 drinks to other players.
-Every time a viewing contestant comments on the fact that these are the best players in the world and only 4 of them spread out over 8 teams can ever take a shot that doesn't end up missing the goal by 20 feet, has to take a drink.

Quit before the first half injury time to avoid alcohol poisoning.

As Far As I Am Concerned

There are only three kinds of people in this world:
The "Andrew McCarthy", the "James Spader" or the "Molly Ringwald".

Also Harry Dean Stanton.

Hot

So yeah, it's hot out there eh? If you were a Portland weathercaster what kind of sage advice would you give out?

Oh, and movie night tonight should be much warmer than last week. People should come out -- screen is big-- it's fun.

Don't Be This Guy

For the gals to relate to, and for the guys to take note.

Don't be this guy: The overweight, less than attractive fellow at a party full of attractive athletic types that insists on grabbing a girl's ass and making comments about it all night. Especially if you are said guy AND are married. Gross, gross, gross. And especially please don't go out of your way to reach through a group of people to tap the girl's ass and then motion for her to join you outside when the girl is obviously repulsed by you.

Now if you are A) hot or B) hot & single this MIGHT work, but only if said girl is drunk and 80s dancing.

Lesson learned -- Grabbing ass is fair game only between mutually attractive people.
Any other grab ass stories to share?

Ultimate Reach Around the World

Thought of this blog today. I work with an organization that does outreach work in rural Tanzanian villages (www.villagelifeoutreach.org) and we had a meeting for our Education Committee today. One of the volunteers had a great idea of bringing frisbees for the children because they are easy to pack and can be obtain free through corporate promotions. Because of the nature of my friendship with Kyle, my first thought was, "oh shit...I don't want to be responsible for spreading the deviant activity of ultimate frisbee to Africa!" Yes, I call it an activity and not a sport, no matter how in shape you must be (you all would hate me). However, a quick search reveals that I will not be responsible for the downfall of African culture...see picture of existing African ultimate team. The rural folks have not been exposed yet, so maybe I can have them throw the discs at trees...frisbee golf!

Standing on the Shoulder of a Giant

Friday morning I spent some time at a friend’s career day for his middle school. It was an eye opening experience. Children are our future, we should teach them well and let them lead the way. Luckily, I was in positive mode and didn’t spend my entire time convincing them Architorture is Dumb. Maybe this is because I had my yearly review on Thursday. It went well, they think I’m good at what I do. Or is it It went good, they think I’m well at what I do? Luckily, English is not part of my job.

I went back to work in the afternoon and started a new project, mainly because they can see I’ve banged my head against the wall for too long on the previous project and was in danger of Losing It. We had our office’s typical monthly Friday meting where we discuss the state of the company, and have some beer and chips. I had a Bridgeport, and unlike most days, the brew did not taste like liquid awesome. It dawned on me that those kids were still on my mind. How could I drink at work when I should be working for their future. I decided that I was done drinking. Done drinking for the kids.

After work I went to a sustainability gala, learned a couple things about Portland’s green community, had some horse douvers, but most importantly, I did not have any free Laurelwood beer. For the Kids, you see. The Future.

I got home and decided that spending time with any peers would stop my mission.
Any time spent with my former lush compatriots would be a step away from my task.
Friday night alone allowed me to watch Big Trouble in Little China. It was time well spent.

Saturday I got up refreshed and clear headed. The future was here, and it was mine.
I spent the time I would normally spend sleeping or practicing general hygene went into painting my front porch and working on my kitchen cabinets. It was productive and fun. I realized that in the future, The Kids will need a home. And if that home has a dingy porch and the kitchen cabinets are not green with brushed chrome pulls, The Kids will suffer. In the midst of some heat gun action, I got a phone call. It was my parents. Gstoph asked if I was sitting down, he had news to tell me. Previous sit down news has been: Death In The Family, We Bought Alpacas, No Matter How Much You Wish It Was True You Aren’t Adopted, That Lady Isn’t Really Your Aunt We Tricked You.
This time the news was even bigger: When Your Father Retires (Again) We Are Moving Out West.
They plan on moving to Olympia in about 3 years. This is pretty cool, but it means I only have 3 years to meet, marry and impregnate a girl (probably maybe in that order) before my mom comes out here and chases them all away. I needed some air. So I left the house for a little bit. I went to the park and threw the disc with my friend, a younger lady. She suggested seeing a movie afterwards, “The Breakup” because it would be funny. I suggested we should see “Hard Candy” because my clever assessment of the circumstances was funny. No one else got the joke. We saw “The Breakup”. We both went home early, and I watched “L4yer Cake”. Here’s my movie review. “L4yer Cake? more like L4yer Crap”. It’s sort of ironic that the worst band I’ve ever seen live is Brick Layer Cake. I went to bed still trying to comprehend the fact that my parents are moving out here. I think I want to keep their donkeys in my basement.

Sunday I got up and had an epiphany:

I have a new agenda, I am going to drink all the beer before the kids get a chance to. Their future is brighter It’s basically the same mission, BEER/KIDS/FUTURE. I’m just taking a different tack. A strong man, nay, a Regal man, knows when his life’s dream is but folly and must be amended. I am now drinking again. My grande ex machinations did last over 38 hours, so they were a full success. More news later…

Nachooooooo

Saw "Nacho Libre" last night. I really liked it. However, my opinion is definitely skewed by a couple factors:

1. I don't get out to the movies too often. Which means the large screen & good sound system & laughter-filled theater made the movie more of an experience than sitting in my living room typically does.

2. I've liked JB for a long time. I saw (& taped) the original Tenacious D episodes when they were on HBO. I made TD albums for my friends years before they put out an album. Everytime I think he may have jumped the shark, he does something that makes me a fan again. He seems like a guy who would be fun to drink with. And he plays Ultimate.

"Nacho Libre" is 90% Jack Black hamming it up, and most of the time I thought, "this rivals a lot of the stuff done by Belushi", although Belushi was more groundbreaking & JB has just refined & expanded on the tradition. Sort of like comparing Springsteen to Dylan.

3. The previews showed so little, I assumed the movie wouldn't be funny. It was way better than my low expectations led me to believe it would be.

Canada Question

I don't really have that much to say, except I'm tired of looking at the devil's posting from six, six, oh, oh, oh six!!!

So can anyone answer why the lights flash green all the time in Vancouver BC? It's kind of confusing -- I can't tell whether that means the yellow is coming soon or what?

I love all you can eat sushi and korean bbq..........thanks for the tip A-train.

Sex, Sex, Oh Sex

Happy Satan Day, praise be to The High Lord Angel Crusher, King of the Elf Kickers.



The best thing about this, is it is also Satan Day in Europeville.
Spooooooky!

Friday was a Day out of Sorts

I woke up like always, leaving myself about 30 minutes to be late to work by 10 minutes. There was only a slight need for a shower since I had one roughly 7 hours ago before I slept, so I skipped it and took a Piqua Shower. Then I had the most important decision of the day. Do I eat a normal breakfast, or just go ahead and eat that big piece of fried chicken? You know the answer to that. I ate the chicken and watched video clips on the internet of people getting hit in the nards.


Next time you try and do something, anything involving physical activity, don't let it be filmed. That only ends in agony.
At work I don't remember a damn thing. Probably just did some drafting, emailed some jokes'njokes. It's the kind a thing that happens.

After work is where I ramped into high gear. Or low gear, just with more gas. It's the intensity of my hanging out aspect that I'm concerned about more than the actual gear ratio as determined by science. The weather was pretty nice, so I sat inside and ate more fried chicken, and downloaded Toto songs off the internet. Why Toto? because Toto wrote all the good tunes on Thriller that's why. It's smooth music. I also worked on getting some Mr. Mister. This was a mess. Every damn user was cock blocking me from listening to "Kyrie". It became my number one priority to listen to that song by the end of the night. Or should I say "Through the darkness of the night!" I listened to Toto's "Africa" and Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings" to quench my thirst for "Kyrie". Eventually I got it downloaded. Two hours of work paid off.


It took a long time to get my fix (that reminds me, I should download some Fixx later tonight. Or maybe Styx.) but it took even longer for Danimal to show up to return my cds that he was ipodding, and then even longer than that for him to burn some more shit of mine. I think I bumped up 17 spots on the RIAAs most wanted list that night.

After all that rigamarole, I went out with friends and drank some beer. Nothing worth mentioning about it. 4 people, beers, waking up the roommates with my bike light, nothing everyone here hasn't done a billion times before.